ALL IS NOT LOST
Urban Meyer's firing doesn't steal juice from Texans potential landmark moment
Dec 16, 2021, 5:13 pm
ALL IS NOT LOST
Nice going, Jacksonville Jaguars owner Shad Khan. Grinch just took away the only interesting aspect about Sunday's game between his bottom-feeding Jaguars and our own algae-eating Houston Texans.
Would this be the game when Jags psycho coach Urban Meyer loses his mind, calls his coaches a bunch of losers, grab ass’ a waitress in her 20s, hires a strength coach who’s made racist comments online, kicks a player who ironically is a kicker, doesn’t know who’s in the game and who’s not, blames the players for the team’s disastrous season and finally gets fired?
Wait, all that’s happened, including owner Khan pulling the plug and firing Meyer in the dead of Wednesday night (or Thursday morning, depending which time zone Jags fans started dancing).
But car crash rubberneckers don’t be dismayed. The Jags-Texans game still shapes up as one of the NFL’s all-time stinkers. The clash pits the two worst records in the AFC (2-11) and two worst offenses in all the NFL. In case you’re wondering, the Jags are No. 31, the Texans No. 32.
The Jaguars and Texans can’t win for losing, either. The Jaguars are 4-9 against the Vegas spread, the Texans not much better at 5-8.
The only place these teams are a good value is on StubHub. You can find tickets to the Jags-Texans game for the low, low price of $14. Please don’t rush the ticket window, there’s no supply chain shortage here.
The Jaguars aren’t exactly fritzing out the scoreboard. If past performance means anything, you might want to consider taking the under Sunday – the number is 39.5 points. Jaguar games have gone over only twice all season. Texans games have exceeded the total only five times. Look at me, sounding like someone with a problem, or as Kramer would say, oh I got a big problem.
This game matches rookie quarterbacks Trevor Lawrence and Davis Mills. Lawrence, the No. 1 overall pick in last year’s draft, has a QB rating of 32, with 9 touchdowns, 14 interceptions and one Subway commercial. Mills has a QB rating of 29.2 with 8 touchdowns, 8 interceptions and possibly a coupon for BOGO tuna footlongs at Subway.
The Texans’ leading rusher is David Johnson. He’s run for a total of 176 yards this season. Need I remind you that this is Week 15?
Because of the way the NFL cooks the books, it’s difficult to say definitively that these are the two most poorly supported teams … but they are. The NFL determines attendance by the number of tickets sold. By that measure, the Texans average attendance at home games is 66,987, or 93-percent of NRG Stadium’s capacity. About 900 miles east on I-10, Jacksonville claims it’s averaging 59,849 fans, or 89-percent of TIAA Bank Field. Both stadiums have been more than half empty this season.
If I invited 100 people to my New Year’s Eve party and only two showed up, what was the real attendance at my party? It’s two. (I left early, I didn’t want to hang around those losers).
While Meyer already has been canned, Texans coach David Culley might want to ask Meyer for advice on which line moves faster at the unemployment office. Culley’s next for sure. When you suspend a player for disciplinary reasons, and he’s your nominee for the Walter Peyton NFL Man of the Year Award, what is going on in that locker room? Who’s minding the store?
The Jags-Texans game will air at noon Sunday on Channel 11. As a public service, here are some other viewing choices at that time: the Christmas Cookie Challenge is airing on the OWN Channel, there’s an Office marathon on Comedy Central, Impractical Jokers is on Tru TV (when is Impractical Jokers not on Tru TV?) and Chuck Norris is 80 and Still Ripped is on the 24-hour infomercial channel.
The Houston Texans have a short week ahead of them as they head to the East Coast to play the New York Jets this Thursday, Halloween night.
The Jets are coming off a disappointing loss to the lowly Patriots, while the Texans came away with a costly win, as Stefon Diggs injured his knee and may miss a significant amount of time.
With Nico Collins also still out, the Texans may have to rely on Joe Mixon and the running game this week. But the Jets are fully aware Houston has struggled to protect CJ Stroud, so Mixon won't be sneaking up on their talented defense.
Even though the Jets lost to the Patriots, they were able to hold running back Rhamondre Stevenson to 48 yards on 20 carries. Stevenson was able to score 2 TDs against the Jets, however.
Things are getting heated
New York is getting crushed in the media this week for slipping to 2-6 against the Pats, so the Texans should have their hands full with an angry team looking to make a statement on national television. One factor to keep in mind is that the Jets knocked Patriots QB Drake Maye out with a concussion.
Let's not forget, they also knocked Stroud out with a concussion as a rookie last year. So this is a physical defense that shouldn't be taken lightly.
X-factors
Jets kicker Greg Zuerlein has struggled recently, and that continued on Sunday as he missed two more kicks. Houston should definitely have the advantage in the kicking game with Ka'imi Fairbairn.
The Texans defense looked terrific against the Colts this week, but they haven't been as dominant on the road. QB Anthony Richardson missed some throws downfield that could have gone for touchdowns with better QB play.
If Aaron Rodgers is able to connect on those opportunities, it could spell trouble for the Texans. And when it comes to playmakers, the Jets are loaded with Davante Adams, Garrett Wilson, and Breece Hall.
What does Vegas think?
The Jets are favored by a point at home, and the total is set at 42.
Don't miss the video above as we examine some of the most important matchups to watch this week!
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Fans of Houston sports and Houston food can now score tickets to The Tailgate, CultureMap's all-out party devoted to everyone’s favorite way to get in the gameday spirit. The event, presented by Verizon, goes down from 6-9 pm November 11 at 8th Wonder. Find out more about it here.