CAUSE FOR PAUSE
If you listen close enough, you can hear the Texans bungling this
Jan 18, 2022, 5:11 pm
It's hard to trust Nick Caserio after hiring David Culley. Photo by Bob Levey/Getty Images.
“She ys fals [is false]; and ever laughynge, with oon eye, and that other wepynge” - 14th-century English poet Geoffrey Chaucer in The Canterbury Tales.
“To laugh and cry both with a breath” – William Shakespeare in Venus and Adonis.
“We don’t know whether to laugh or cry” – Houston Texans fans listening to general manager Nick Caserio’s postmortem for the team’s dismal 2021 season.
They all say the same thing: we’d laugh if it didn’t hurt so much.
Most of Caserio’s press conference last week had the general manager clumsily defending why he hired David Culley as head coach and fired David Culley as head coach less than one year later.
Caserio repeatedly insisted that he thought Culley was the right man for the job a year ago, and stood by the hire. He said, “I think we’re in a lot better position now. I think that is because of the leadership and guidance that (Culley) provided. I have a lot of personal respect and appreciation and admiration for what he did for this team.”
But now Caserio had philosophical differences with Culley so the one-and-done coach had to go.
Is this any way to run an NFL franchise? The Pittsburgh Steelers have employed only three head coaches in the past 52 years. The Texans have had four head coaches in the last 15 months: Bill O’Brien, Romeo Crennel, David Culley and “who’s next?” The Texans still will be paying off O’Brien and Culley’s contracts this upcoming season. In Culley’s case, they’re on the hook for his money three more years.
Listening to Caserio’s deflective mumbo jumbo, I kept thinking … “You’re the guy who hired Culley. What’s your responsibility here? Munschausen by proxy much? You picked a guy who’s been in football more than four decades, 27 years in the NFL, without ever being named a coordinator let alone a head coach. You hired a guy who stood on the sidelines with a puzzled look on his face, who didn’t seem to comprehend football rules, who ran an undisciplined locker room, who failed to establish a presence in the community. Who inherited a 4-12 team and left a 4-13 team. And you think this is a ‘better position?’ You don’t see a glass half full, you must see the entire Waterford stemware collection.”
Culley’s biggest failure wasn’t in the NFL standings. He put a lackluster, dull, unimaginative and frustratingly predictable product on the field. They say the opposite of love isn’t hate, it’s apathy. Well, the largest city in football-crazy Texas simply gave up on its team. Fans who spent thousands of dollars on tickets decided not to show up for games. They just stopped caring. That’s the opposite of love.
And things may get more frustrating next year. The Deshaun Watson dilemma may not be resolved with a simple trade for a haul of draft picks in the near future. Some legal analysts believe the 22 civil cases against Watson may be headed to court and if verdicts go against Watson he may end up on the NFL commissioner’s exempt list – still a Texan and sidelined for a second season.
The NFL coaching trend is toward younger, creative offensive minds and big personalities like Sean McVay, who was only 30 when the Los Angeles Rams hired him in 2017. Kliff Kingsbury was 39 when the Cardinals hired him in 2019. You might have seen McVay and Kingsbury battling in the playoffs Monday night. Packers coach Matt LaFleur is 42. Bengals coach Zac Taylor is 38.
Everyone says the same thing about Culley – he’s a nice guy. You know what they say about nice guys, right? They finish next to last in the AFC South, thanks to the Jacksonville Jaguars being even more dysfunctional than the Texans.
So far the Texans have interviewed recently fired Miami Dolphins head coach Brian Flores, Chargers offensive coordinator Joe Lombardi, Eagles defensive coordinator Jonathan Gannon, former Texans QB Josh McCown, and former Steelers receiver Hines Ward. Others reportedly on the “to do” list: Patriots linebackers coach Jerod Mayo, Patriots offensive coordinator Josh McDaniels, Buccaneers offensive coordinator Byron Leftwich, and Bills offensive coordinator Brian Daboll.
Do you trust Caserio to make the right choice this time? The most important decision an NFL general manager makes is hiring a successful head coach. Caserio is a huge 0-1. Most of the Texans’ wish list candidates are being interviewed by other teams, too. There are eight head coach openings and the consensus opinion among NFL insiders is that the Texans position is the least attractive. Why? As ESPN’s Michael Wilbon so eloquently and bluntly put it, the Texans are a “fraud” and “the franchise is a joke.” But it hurts too much to laugh.
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May 8, 2025, 5:45 pm
In Houston, the winning standard has been set so high that anything short of World Series contention now feels like failure. And yet, the 2025 Astros find themselves at an unfamiliar crossroads—caught between the fading brilliance of past stars and the uncertain promise of what comes next.
Jose Altuve is at the center of this issue. His early struggles (-0.5 WAR) may indicate more than just a temporary slump. And when he swung at the first pitch after Lance McCullers had just endured a grueling 33-pitch inning on Sunday, it raised a bigger question: who has the influence to talk to Altuve?
The Astros’ culture has long been praised for its accountability, but who inside the clubhouse has the standing to challenge or counsel Altuve or other vets when needed? With so many veteran voices gone, there’s a growing sense that no one does—and that’s a problem. That’s why the idea of bringing back Michael Brantley—not as a player, but as a respected voice—could make some sense. Brantley was always viewed as a quiet leader, and his presence could restore some of the guidance this roster desperately needs.
Batter up?
While the Astros have built a reputation for reviving pitchers' careers, their track record with hitters is far less impressive. There are few, if any, examples of a bat joining Houston and unlocking a new level. That failure in development becomes especially stark when considering how much they’re currently leaning on homegrown youth.
Which brings us to Zach Dezenzo. The 24-year-old rookie is showing he belongs—his .737 OPS makes him one of the more productive bats in a lineup that desperately needs stability while Yordan Alvarez nurses an injury. While Victor Caratini provides the Astros with the ability to switch hit, he's hitting just .217. Dezenzo should be starting every day in left, with Yordan out. Jose Altuve, who has already played too many innings this year, should be shifted to DH duties to ease his physical burden. The Astros should go with Cam Smith in right and keep Jake Meyers in center to round out the outfield.
GM Dana Brown has made clear that he views Dezenzo as a first baseman or left fielder for the future. So why not get him in the lineup while Yordan's out and see what he can do with consistent playing time?
Of course, losing Yordan Alvarez is always going to hurt. But the numbers tell a surprising story. Yordan currently holds a -0.4 WAR, right there alongside Altuve and Christian Walker as the only Astros with negative marks. On paper, the team hasn’t lost much production. But let’s not kid ourselves—Yordan’s mere presence alters how opponents pitch to this team. The lineup without him lacks fear factor, and the margins get razor-thin.
Speaking of margins, one move that may haunt this front office is the decision to sign Christian Walker. The veteran first baseman is hitting just .205 with a .617 OPS—far below the level expected from a player earning $20 million annually through 2027. Compare that to Jon Singleton, who posted better numbers in 2024 and currently boasts an .880 OPS in Triple-A with the Mets organization. Walker's defense is strong, but it's hard to argue that justifies the price tag. Singleton might not be a Gold Glover, or anything close, but he came much cheaper and was quietly more productive with the bat.
No regrets?
There’s also a broader question looming: if fans had known that Altuve’s massive contract extension would potentially cost the team the ability to re-sign current MVP candidates Kyle Tucker and Alex Bregman, would they still have supported the deal? Hindsight is cruel, but with Altuve’s decline and Tucker and Bregman thriving, it’s a fair debate. Houston might have paid for the past instead of securing its future.
Big deals on the horizon?
All eyes now turn to owner Jim Crane. This winter, Houston's payroll will have considerable room to maneuver. But will Crane commit to restocking the lineup with All-Star-caliber bats, or will his reluctance to offer long-term deals keep the Astros stuck in a holding pattern? It’s one thing to let players walk. It’s another to fail to replace them.
The Astros still have the bones of a contender, but the road back to dominance is getting steeper. The team can’t simply rely on what used to work. It’s time for difficult conversations, bold lineup changes, and a rethinking of how this organization develops—and retains—offensive talent.
We have so much more to get to. Don't miss the video below as we examine the topics above and much, much more!
The MLB season is finally upon us! Join Brandon Strange, Josh Jordan, and Charlie Pallilo for the Stone Cold ‘Stros podcast which drops each Monday afternoon, with an additional episode now on Thursday!
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