H-Town Run Tourist
The grossest things about running a marathon
Mar 10, 2020, 5:49 am
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Jovan Abernathy is an international marathoner and owner of Houston Tourism Gym. To claim your free tour, contact her at info@tourismgymhtx.com. Follow her on Twitter @jovanabernathy. Instagram @TourismGymHtx. Facebook @TourismGymHtx
While I was training for the Honolulu Marathon in 2009, I learned something very important. I was running late for training, but I needed something in my stomach. I had run out of bananas and did not have time to make some eggs and toast. I opened my refrigerator and grabbed the first thing that was close enough: a plum. It was juicy and delicious. I forgot one thing: that a plum is an unripe prune. Everything was great until about mile 15. I started to get that call. You know the one that says get to the bathroom fast. All I could see is a port-o-let. I didn't want to, but I had too. Of course, there was no toilet paper or soap or sanitizer. Gross! If you think that is bad, read on for the grossest things about running a marathon.
Snotty nose.
As you can imagine, running against the wind and in the cold can cause your nose to run. This is always a gross thing because most of the time, you do not have tissue. Most runners just let it fly off with the wind. It is really fun to talk to someone after their run when they have an "eagle" in the sky. This time, it is okay to refuse the handshake.
Bloody nipples.
This disgusting aspect of running typically only plagues men. Thanks to the sports bra, ladies usually don't deal with this. Bloody nipples happen when the runner's shirt chafes his nipples. After 26.2 miles, his chest looks like the Texas Chainsaw Massacre. If this happens to you, you are not alone. There is a wonderful product called Body Glide to help prevent the carnage.
Urinating on the course.
Maybe you had a time goal and stopping to use the port-o-potty would slow you down or you just could not hold it. There is a reason at the expo that they sell bladder pads for the ladies. Elite runner, Paula Radcliffe, professional marathoner from England has had her instances. In the 2005 marathon, she had to relieve herself in the street on course in front of cameras and reporters. She quickly recovered from the embarrassment because she won.
Pooping on yourself.
Urinating is one thing, but pooping is quite another. I was able to find a port-o-potty in time, but what if you can't? Many runners have had to do the doo on course. This marathon olympian could not wait until he crossed the finish line. Good news for him. He did take the lead and won the race.
Please take heed to my warnings, but don't let that keep your from trying and running a marathon. Invest in Body Glide, bladder pads for the active, and a small bag of keener. As far as the pooping, I always pack Imodium AD. It really works!
When: Thursday, 8 p.m. EST
Where: Houston, TX
BetMGM Line: Rockets -10; Over/Under 219
BOTTOM LINE:
The New Orleans Pelicans are looking to end a four-game skid as they take on the Houston Rockets, who have established themselves as a force in the Western Conference this season.
The Rockets (17-9) currently sit third in the West and boast one of the league's best rebounding units, led by Alperen Sengun. Houston has dominated within the division, posting a 4-1 record against Southwest Division opponents. Meanwhile, the Pelicans (5-22) have struggled mightily, especially within their division, where they remain winless at 0-3.
WHAT TO WATCH FOR:
- Houston’s Rebounding Edge
The Rockets lead the Western Conference in rebounding, averaging 49.3 boards per game. Alperen Sengun has been a standout, contributing 10.6 rebounds along with 18.6 points and 5.2 assists per contest. This could spell trouble for a Pelicans squad that has been outmuscled on the glass in recent outings. - Pelicans’ Scoring Woes
New Orleans ranks last in the Western Conference in scoring, putting up just 105.1 points per game on 43.7% shooting. Their offense will be further hampered by injuries to key players like Brandon Ingram (ankle) and Zion Williamson (hamstring), leaving the team with limited options to generate points. - Defensive Disparities
While the Rockets aren’t elite defensively, allowing 106.1 points per game, they should benefit from the Pelicans' offensive struggles. Houston's opponents are shooting just 42.5% in the Rockets' last 10 games, a figure that contrasts with the 48.3% shooting New Orleans allows to opposing teams over the season.
RECENT FORM:
- Rockets: Houston is 6-4 over its last 10 games, averaging 108.0 points and 47.3 rebounds while holding opponents to 106.0 points. The Rockets have been solid on both ends, particularly in forcing turnovers, as they average 8.3 steals and 6.1 blocks per game.
- Pelicans: New Orleans has dropped nine of its last 10 games, scoring 107.3 points on 43.9% shooting while giving up a whopping 118.9 points per game to opponents. Injuries have ravaged the Pelicans’ lineup, leaving them vulnerable in both scoring and defense.
INJURY REPORT:
- Rockets: No injuries reported.
- Pelicans: Brandon Ingram (ankle) and Zion Williamson (hamstring) are out, while Jose Alvarado (hamstring) is also sidelined. Jeremiah Robinson-Earl, Karlo Matkovic, and Jordan Hawkins are listed as day-to-day.
KEY MATCHUP:
Alperen Sengun vs. the Pelicans' Interior Defense
Sengun’s ability to dominate the paint with his rebounding and passing could be a deciding factor. Without Zion Williamson and Brandon Ingram, the Pelicans’ defense will be shorthanded and at risk of being overpowered by Houston’s size and depth.
PREDICTION:
The Rockets are heavy favorites for a reason. With no major injuries and a strong rebounding game, Houston should control the tempo and exploit the Pelicans’ lack of offensive firepower. Expect Houston to extend New Orleans’ losing streak in convincing fashion.
Final Score Prediction: Rockets 114, Pelicans 98
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