H-Town Run Tourist
The grossest things about running a marathon
Mar 10, 2020, 5:49 am
H-Town Run Tourist
Jovan Abernathy is an international marathoner and owner of Houston Tourism Gym. To claim your free tour, contact her at info@tourismgymhtx.com. Follow her on Twitter @jovanabernathy. Instagram @TourismGymHtx. Facebook @TourismGymHtx
While I was training for the Honolulu Marathon in 2009, I learned something very important. I was running late for training, but I needed something in my stomach. I had run out of bananas and did not have time to make some eggs and toast. I opened my refrigerator and grabbed the first thing that was close enough: a plum. It was juicy and delicious. I forgot one thing: that a plum is an unripe prune. Everything was great until about mile 15. I started to get that call. You know the one that says get to the bathroom fast. All I could see is a port-o-let. I didn't want to, but I had too. Of course, there was no toilet paper or soap or sanitizer. Gross! If you think that is bad, read on for the grossest things about running a marathon.
Snotty nose.
As you can imagine, running against the wind and in the cold can cause your nose to run. This is always a gross thing because most of the time, you do not have tissue. Most runners just let it fly off with the wind. It is really fun to talk to someone after their run when they have an "eagle" in the sky. This time, it is okay to refuse the handshake.
Bloody nipples.
This disgusting aspect of running typically only plagues men. Thanks to the sports bra, ladies usually don't deal with this. Bloody nipples happen when the runner's shirt chafes his nipples. After 26.2 miles, his chest looks like the Texas Chainsaw Massacre. If this happens to you, you are not alone. There is a wonderful product called Body Glide to help prevent the carnage.
Urinating on the course.
Maybe you had a time goal and stopping to use the port-o-potty would slow you down or you just could not hold it. There is a reason at the expo that they sell bladder pads for the ladies. Elite runner, Paula Radcliffe, professional marathoner from England has had her instances. In the 2005 marathon, she had to relieve herself in the street on course in front of cameras and reporters. She quickly recovered from the embarrassment because she won.
Pooping on yourself.
Urinating is one thing, but pooping is quite another. I was able to find a port-o-potty in time, but what if you can't? Many runners have had to do the doo on course. This marathon olympian could not wait until he crossed the finish line. Good news for him. He did take the lead and won the race.
Please take heed to my warnings, but don't let that keep your from trying and running a marathon. Invest in Body Glide, bladder pads for the active, and a small bag of keener. As far as the pooping, I always pack Imodium AD. It really works!
Alex Bregman could receive the final payment of his $120 million, three-year deal with the Boston Red Sox in 2046.
His deal, announced Saturday, calls for the $5 million signing bonus to be paid on Jan. 15, 2028, according to contract details obtained by The Associated Press.
He gets salaries of $35 million this year and $40 million in each of the next two years, and $60 million will be deferred: $20 million annually. The deferrals are due by June 15 in each year from 2035-46.
Bregman can opt out after the 2025 and 2026 seasons to become a free agent again.
Boston owes $2 million in deferred money in 2035, $4 million in 2036, $6 million annually from 2037-44, $4 million in 2045 and $2 million in 2046.
By deferring the money, the Red Sox lower the contract's average annual value for Major League Baseball's luxury tax.
Now 30, Bregman is a two-time All-Star and two-time World Series champion during nine years with the Houston Astros. He hit .260 with 26 homers and 75 RBIs in the final season of a $100 million, five-year contract, also winning his first Gold Glove.
Bregman's position with Boston is unclear, though second base appears possible. Rafael Devers has been at third for the Red Sox since 2017.