H-Town Run Tourist
The grossest things about running a marathon
Mar 10, 2020, 5:49 am
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Jovan Abernathy is an international marathoner and owner of Houston Tourism Gym. To claim your free tour, contact her at info@tourismgymhtx.com. Follow her on Twitter @jovanabernathy. Instagram @TourismGymHtx. Facebook @TourismGymHtx
While I was training for the Honolulu Marathon in 2009, I learned something very important. I was running late for training, but I needed something in my stomach. I had run out of bananas and did not have time to make some eggs and toast. I opened my refrigerator and grabbed the first thing that was close enough: a plum. It was juicy and delicious. I forgot one thing: that a plum is an unripe prune. Everything was great until about mile 15. I started to get that call. You know the one that says get to the bathroom fast. All I could see is a port-o-let. I didn't want to, but I had too. Of course, there was no toilet paper or soap or sanitizer. Gross! If you think that is bad, read on for the grossest things about running a marathon.
Snotty nose.
As you can imagine, running against the wind and in the cold can cause your nose to run. This is always a gross thing because most of the time, you do not have tissue. Most runners just let it fly off with the wind. It is really fun to talk to someone after their run when they have an "eagle" in the sky. This time, it is okay to refuse the handshake.
Bloody nipples.
This disgusting aspect of running typically only plagues men. Thanks to the sports bra, ladies usually don't deal with this. Bloody nipples happen when the runner's shirt chafes his nipples. After 26.2 miles, his chest looks like the Texas Chainsaw Massacre. If this happens to you, you are not alone. There is a wonderful product called Body Glide to help prevent the carnage.
Urinating on the course.
Maybe you had a time goal and stopping to use the port-o-potty would slow you down or you just could not hold it. There is a reason at the expo that they sell bladder pads for the ladies. Elite runner, Paula Radcliffe, professional marathoner from England has had her instances. In the 2005 marathon, she had to relieve herself in the street on course in front of cameras and reporters. She quickly recovered from the embarrassment because she won.
Pooping on yourself.
Urinating is one thing, but pooping is quite another. I was able to find a port-o-potty in time, but what if you can't? Many runners have had to do the doo on course. This marathon olympian could not wait until he crossed the finish line. Good news for him. He did take the lead and won the race.
Please take heed to my warnings, but don't let that keep your from trying and running a marathon. Invest in Body Glide, bladder pads for the active, and a small bag of keener. As far as the pooping, I always pack Imodium AD. It really works!
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After dropping a frustrating series to the Chicago White Sox, the Houston Astros find themselves in a familiar position—searching for answers, but still within striking distance. Despite their inconsistency, Houston sits just three games behind the AL West-leading Mariners, who are currently 7 games over .500 and riding an 8-2 stretch. For as up-and-down as the Astros have been, the division remains tantalizingly close.
That inconsistency was on full display throughout the White Sox series. Jake Meyers and Zach Dezenzo each played the roles of both hero and heartbreaker. Dezenzo launched a massive home run in Game 3, a moment that energized the dugout and briefly shifted momentum. But his costly defensive error later in the game flipped the script. Meyers was a spark plug in Houston’s lone win, delivering a clutch performance at the plate, only to run the team out of a rally in the finale when he was picked off second—right before Jeremy Peña ripped what would have been an RBI single.
Jose Altuve’s struggles are quietly becoming more worrisome. He’s recorded just one multi-hit game since April 19 and has only one homer since April 8. On Sunday, he swung at the first pitch after Lance McCullers had grinded through a 33-pitch inning—a decision that raised questions about his awareness in a veteran moment. Should manager Joe Espada have reminded Altuve of the situation? Or is this on Altuve, who should have known what to do as one of the team leaders?
Signs of life
There are flickers of life from the bats. Last week, Houston's team OPS was an underwhelming .667 (23rd in MLB), with a slugging percentage of .357 (25th). They've nudged those numbers up to .684 (19th) and .370 (21st), respectively. It’s modest progress, but enough to suggest this offense might be trending in the right direction. Still, their 5-5 record over the last 10 games feels emblematic of who they are right now—a .500 team with both talent and flaws.
Looking ahead
The upcoming schedule could be a turning point. Three of the next five opponents have losing records, and none of them are elite. This stretch offers a prime opportunity for Houston to finally build momentum and close the gap in the division—assuming the Mariners cool off from their current tear, which seems inevitable given their unsustainable 8-2 pace.
McCullers is officially back!
Lance McCullers returned for the first time since 2022 and, despite being limited to 3.2 innings due to command issues (three walks and a hit batter), there were encouraging signs. His velocity was there, and the stuff looked sharp. It’s a start, and perhaps a step toward stabilizing a rotation that still needs length.
Steering the ship
Manager Joe Espada, however, continues to draw scrutiny. His decision-making in the finale raised eyebrows again. Giving Isaac Paredes a day off when Yordan Alvarez was already sitting left the lineup depleted. Rather than using promising young infielder/outfielder Cam Smith, he opted for Mauricio Dubón and Brendan Rodgers—a defensive combo that didn't inspire confidence. It feels at times like Espada isn’t prioritizing winning the final game of a series, a pattern that could haunt the team down the stretch.
The plot thickens
Meanwhile, Christian Walker’s slump is dragging on. He went 0-for-5 twice in the last two series and looks out of sync at the plate. The Astros need more from their power hitters if they hope to make a real run. And with Alvarez now heading to the IL with hand inflammation, runs will be even harder to come by.
All told, this team still feels like one hovering just above or below .500. But in a division that remains wide open, the path forward is clear: play better, hope the Mariners come back to earth, and capitalize on a soft schedule. The race is far from over—but it’s time for Houston to start acting like contenders.
We have so much more to discuss. Don't miss the video below as we examine the topics above and much, much more!
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