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UFC 230: A feast for the Black Beast

UFC 230: A feast for the Black Beast
Derrick Lewis of Houston will get his shot at a title. Harry How/Getty Images

On Nov. 3, the double champion Daniel D.C. Cormier takes on Derrick “The Black Beast” Lewis for the UFC heavyweight title at the famed Madison Square Garden.

Bet the house on black. Specifically, bet the house on Black Beast. Sure, Derrick “The Black Beast” Lewis opens as an 8-to-1 underdog in his fight against heavyweight champion Cormier. Sure, Cormier just knocked out the most dominant heavyweight champion in the history of the UFC. And sure, Lewis miraculously survived a fourteen minute beating just three weeks ago. Who cares? It doesn’t matter.Lewis is unstoppable.  Lewis is immovable. And against all odds, he’s proved time and time again that he Just. Can’t. Lose! (Except that time he lost).

Using the letter “H” as a tribute to Houston, the city Lewis so proudly represents, this writer will provide real and not-at-all satirical evidence to show how The Black Beast feasts on Nov. 3.

History

For Lewis, this fight is personal. Cormier and Lewis are no strangers. Behind the scenes at UFC 226, Lewis vowed to knock out  Cormier. The reason? Disrespecting the Black Beast’s sacred cow. Popeyes Chicken.

 

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The greatest fights in history come packaged with stories that can’t be matched by any film or novel. The Thrilla in Manilla. McGregor vs. Diaz. When these two fighters cross paths on that fateful night, their destinies will intertwine like a Popeyes mixed combo meal. Derrick Lewis vs. Daniel Cormier. Spicy vs. Plain. Warring in a contest to prove who’s breast- AND THIGH WILL BE DONE.

Heart

A beast isn’t known for its skill. It’s not known for its smarts. It’s known for its heart. And that’s what Lewis has. An enlarged heart. In each of his most notable wins, Lewis lands a spectacular KO, but not before getting beat up and exhausted first. He’s the first to admit he has cardio problems. But with heart the size of Lewis’, there’s simply no room for lungs.

How will heart factor into this fight? We simply need to analyze the last of either fighters’ bouts. Just three weeks ago, the Russian contender Alexander Volkov hacked away at Lewis like it was a U.S. presidential election. With seconds left into the fight, Lewis summoned his heart, and put a whoopin’ on a PutinCormier’s last fight? Moved up a weight class to KO then-heavyweight king within one round, extending his undefeated heavyweight streak while capturing a simultaneous belt. No heart whatsoever.

Heat

It’s a tale as old as time in Mixed Martial Arts: styles make fights. DC owns an Olympic medal in Wrestling, and can send heavyweights flying. Lewis’ grappling consists of… waiting to stand back up. Advantage: DERRICK LEWIS.

Lewis wins this match up flat out, as proved by sports science. In his fight against Volkov, Lewis scored a late knockout with seconds left to go. In his post-fight interview, Lewis famously dropped his shorts and declared to the world, “My balls was hot.”

Great balls of fire

As an accredited analyst, I must correlate the two: Derrick Lewis gets stronger as his balls get hotter. My professional prediction: Cormier outwrestles Derrick Lewis for four rounds, before Lewis’ balls reach a fiery temperature. Unable to clinch or grapple Lewis without being scorched, DC is forced to stand, and The Black Beast sends Cormier into retirement with one final Popeye's punch.

Official pick: Lewis via fifth round hot and spicy KO.

 

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The Astros beat the Mariners, 9-2. Composite Getty Image.

Jose Altuve homered twice and drove in a season-high four runs and Jeremy Peña tripled for his 500th career hit to help the Houston Astros to a 9-2 win over the Seattle Mariners on Thursday night.

It was tied with two outs in the fourth when Jake Meyers singled off George Kirby (0-1) before Cam Smith walked. Mauricio Dubón’s single on a grounder to right field scored Meyers to put Houston on top 3-2.

Peña then sent two more home with his triple off the wall in left-center to make it 5-2 and chase Kirby.

Altuve’s solo shot came with no outs in the fifth to push the lead to 6-2. He connected again with one on and two outs in the sixth to make it 8-2 and give him his 12th career multihomer game.

Houston’s Lance McCullers Jr. allowed five hits and two runs with a season-high eight strikeouts in 4 1/3 innings in his longest start this season. Shawn Dubin (1-0) got the last two outs of the fifth for the win.

Kirby allowed six hits and five runs with four strikeouts in 3 2/3 innings in his season debut after sitting out with inflammation in his throwing shoulder.

Seattle played without Julio Rodríguez after the center fielder was scratched from the lineup about 30 minutes before the first pitch. Manager Dan Wilson said Rodríguez had back tightness and is day to day with the issue.

Dylan Moore homered and Rowdy Tellez had two hits and an RBI on a night the AL West-leading Mariners went 2 for 10 with runners in scoring position.

Tellez gave the Mariners an early lead with an RBI single with two outs in the first. Seattle made it 2-0 when Moore homered to open the second inning.

Altuve hit a sacrifice fly to tie it in Houston’s two-run second.

Key moment

Peña’s triple in the fourth padded the Astros' lead and ended Kirby’s night.

Key stat

Peña is the fifth player in franchise history to reach 500 hits while playing shortstop, joining Roger Metzger (839), Carlos Correa (778), Craig Reynolds (767) and Adam Everett (530).

Up next

Houston RHP Ryan Gusto (3-2, 4.85 ERA) opposes RHP Emerson Hancock (1-2, 6.21) when the series continues Friday night.

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