Fair-Weather Fans?

A view of Houston fans from a non-native Houstonian

A view of Houston fans from a non-native Houstonian
Texans fans have had it rough over the years. Photo by Scott Halleran/Getty Images

I moved to Houston a few years ago to pursue my lifelong dream of rotting away in a cubicle and getting stuck in rush-hour traffic. If only I knew about the wonderful tsunami-esque rain that Houston received, I would have relocated years ago. I mean, who doesn’t want it to be 95 degrees and sunny when they are knee-deep in water and sewage run-off. Speaking of sewage run-off, let’s talk about our good ol’ Houston sports teams. 

Not the teams, specifically, but the Houston fair-weather fans that I have come to know ... and hate.

Houston Astros fans

The days of the “Killer B’s” are over, but the Astros have some of the best talent in the American League. I have been to a few games down at Minute Maid, and one thing is for certain, the fans suck. First, Houston is closing in on the third-largest city in the country, and to see empty sections in rivalry games is extremely depressing. Altuve and Correa are all-stars, and the starting pitching is coming around. Show some frickin’ support for your team. 

I should never be able to sneak down to the third baseline in the fourth inning because you didn’t want to miss the turtle races at Little Woodrow’s. I’ve seen the Skeeters fill a stadium better than the Astros. Out of all the major sports teams of Houston, this one has the best chance at winning a championship, so show them the support they deserve.

Houston Rockets fans

On a more positive note, I feel Houston Rockets fans are a lot more optimistic and dedicated to their team. Harden is on a tear like no other right now, and with the support of Gordon, Anderson, Capella and the rest, the future is looking bright for the Rockets. My issue is that fans keep pushing for Harden for MVP rather than addressing the needs of the team. 

Harden may be the best player in the league this year and for the foreseeable future, but that won’t win the Rockets a championship. No one remembers that Steph Curry was MVP last year, they just remember his face when the Cavs came back from 3-1 in the finals. So, stop campaigning the NBA for Harden to win the Podoloff Trophy and start campaigning Daryl Morey to pick up a legit rim protector. The Rockets should be contenders in the West for several years to come.

Houston Texans fans

Finally, I saved the worst for last. I pity you. Yes, you! The guy with the Texans car magnet/hitch protector combo on his jacked up, low self-esteem truck. You know who you are. 

August rolls around and you tell your co-workers and unwilling listeners that “This is the Texans 'year.” How “we” will fix the QB situation, and with J.J.’s return, “our” defense will be comparable to the ’85 Bears.  October comes, the QB sucks more than a Dyson, and the defense is banged up, yet you still tell Jim in accounting not to worry, “they” will turn it around. December finally hits and you wake up from your depressed stupor, contemplating starting an angry mob, calling for Bill to be executed on Discovery Green, and experiencing the same deja vu you have had for the last 15 years. 

But I have some words of encouragement for you: the Texans are a damn good team. They are a QB, interior O-lineman, head coach, and GM away from a championship. Keep your head up fictional fan. Good times are ahead.

This all being said; Houston’s sports future is looking on the bright side. You could be a NY or LA fan and struggle through the next decade of rebuilding years. So, stop complaining and go support your team.

---

Originally appeared on houstonsportsandstuff.com.

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Can the Texans pull off the upset? Composite Getty Image.

The NFL playoffs are finally here, and the Texans will kick off the postseason by hosting the LA Chargers this Saturday at NRG.

And while the Texans are only 3 point underdogs, the national media is making it seem like Houston has no chance against Justin Herbert and company.

ESPN's Rex Ryan has gone as far as calling the Texans a "bye" week for the Chargers, giving the team no chance to win despite playing at home.

However, the Texans are no stranger to this situation, as they were given little chance to win against the Browns in last year's Wild Card game. And we know how that ended, with the Texans thrashing the Browns 45-14.

It's certainly fair to predict the Chargers will come away with a win this Saturday, they have been playing much better football than Houston in recent weeks.

But it's important to remember that home underdogs have performed well in the Wild Card round. In fact, home underdogs are 16-14 all-time in the Wild Card playoffs, and both home underdogs won last year (Texans, Buccaneers).

Speaking of last year, many credit the Texans defense for securing the win over Cleveland, with two pick sixes in the second half helping to seal the deal.

But the real reason Houston won the game was because of CJ Stroud and the offense. Stroud threw 3 touchdowns before halftime and the team was leading 24-14 with six minutes left in the third quarter. That's when the defense tacked on two interceptions for touchdowns and put the game out of reach. Stroud and the offense also went on to score another TD on a Devin Singletary run.

If Stroud and the offense didn't put so much pressure on Joe Flacco and the Cleveland offense to score, he may not have forced those passes that were picked off.

Now, many will point to the Chargers having the best defense (points allowed) this season, but it's worth noting the Browns had the number one defense (yards allowed) last year as well.

Bulls on Parade

Houston's defense will have its hands full against a strong rushing attack led by JK Dobbins. And Justin Herbert has been terrific this season, spreading the ball around to his top two targets, Ladd McConkey and Quentin Johnston.

Fortunately for the Texans, they are extremely healthy on defense this week. While Jimmy Ward and Jalen Pitre are out for the year, we'll finally get to see linebackers Azeez Al-Shaair and Christian Harris play together for the first time this season.

The defensive line is expected to be at full strength as well, keep in mind Jonathan Greenard was injured and unable to play against the Browns last year.

Outlook on offense

We should see the best possible version of the offensive line this Saturday. We're all aware how many hits Stroud has taken due to poor o-line play. But with Tytus Howard and left guard and Juice Scruggs at right guard, Stroud should have more time to get the passing game going, featuring Nico Collins.

Speaking of the receivers, it's pretty amazing that this receiver group is almost identical to last year's in the Wild Card round. Stroud didn't have Stefon Diggs (on the Bills) or Tank Dell (injured) to throw to last year, either. But he does have one big addition in Joe Mixon this year. Hopefully, they can get Mixon involved in the passing game, and the shuffling of the o-line provides Mixon with some holes to run through.

X-factor

At least there's a possibility newly acquired receiver Diontae Johnson could provide a spark to the offense. Last year John Metchie and Robert Woods were the main targets besides Collins and Dalton Schultz.

What does Vegas think?

The Chargers are favored by 3 and the total is set at 42.5 points

Don't miss the video above as the crew from Texans on Tap previews this week's big game!

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