FANTASY PLAYOFFS

Week 14 fantasy football rankings: Win or go home

For most leagues, the fantasy playoffs have arrived. Composite photo by Jack Brame

These are my very early ranks, so keep in mind I post these on Thursday. Make sure you check the injury report on Sunday for players that have missed practice. If it doesn't look like a player will play this week, I typically won't rank him. Keep in mind, these are PPR rankings, and don't forget to set your lineup for Thursday Night Football.

If you have any questions, feel free to hit me up on Twitter. Be sure to check out my show MoneyLine with Jerry Bo on ESPN 97.5 FM. We're on every Sunday morning from 10-noon, and we'll talk a lot of fantasy football and NFL gambling getting you ready for kickoff every Sunday.

@JoshJordan975

@Moneyline975

@JerryBoKnowz

QB

Aaron Rodgers should have a big game this week against Washington. Photo by Getty Images

1 Lamar Jackson

2 Deshaun Watson

3 Aaron Rodgers

4 Russell Wilson

5 Patrick Mahomes

6 Carson Wentz

7 Kirk Cousins

8 Baker Mayfield

9 Dak Prescott

10 Drew Brees

11 Tom Brady

12 Jameis Winston

13 Ryan Tannehill

14 Matt Ryan

15 Jared Goff

RB

Derrick Henry should continue to dominate in the month of December. Photo via: TennesseeTitans.com

1 Christian McCaffrey

2 Derrick Henry

3 Ezekiel Elliott

4 Leonard Fournette

5 Alvin Kamara

6 Melvin Gordon

7 Josh Jacobs

8 Saquon Barkley

9 Nick Chubb

10 Mark Ingram

11 Le'Veon Bell

12 Joe Mixon

13 Dalvin Cook

14 Aaron Jones

15 Devonta Freeman

16 James White

17 Todd Gurley

18 Chris Carson

19 Austin Ekeler

20 Miles Sanders

21 Devin Singletary

22 Kareem Hunt

23 David Montgomery

24 Phillip Lindsay

25 Carlos Hyde

26 Rashaad Penny

27 Marlon Mack

28 Kenyan Drake

29 Derrius Guice

30 Sony Michel

WR

Michael Thomas has been unbelievable this year. Photo by New Orleans Saints/Facebook

1 Michael Thomas

2 Davante Adams

3 DeAndre Hopkins

4 D.J. Moore

5 Julian Edelman

6 Tyreek Hill

7 Chris Godwin

8 Mike Evans

9 Devante Parker

10 Julio Jones

11 Robert Woods

12 Jarvis Landry

13 Stefon Diggs

14 Keenan Allen

15 Allen Robinson

16 Courtland Sutton

17 Cooper Kupp

18 Amari Cooper

19 Odell Beckham Jr

20 Alshon Jeffery

21 Tyler Boyd

22 Calvin Ridley

23 Kenny Golladay

24 Will Fuller

25 Michael Gallup

26 Robby Anderson

27 Jamison Crowder

28 Tyler Lockett

29 D.J. Chark

30 Marvin Jones

31 John Brown

32 D.K. Metcalf

33 Anthony Miller

34 Dede Westbrook

35 James Washington

36 Sterling Shepard

TE

Hunter Henry's matchup is tough this week, but he still makes the Top 5. Photo via:Chargers/Facebook

1 George Kittle

2 Travis Kelce

3 Zach Ertz

4 Darren Waller

5 Hunter Henry

6 Jared Cook

7 Jack Doyle

8 Mark Andrews

9 Evan Engram

10 Kyle Rudolph

11 Ryan Griffin

12 Austin Hooper

DEF

1 Vikings

2 Packers

3 Steelers

4 Ravens

5 Texans

6 Eagles

7 Bears

8 Titans

9 Browns

10 Chargers

11 Cowboys

12 Patriots

Kicker

1 Wil Lutz

2 Greg Zuerlein

3 Jake Elliott

4 Justin Tucker

5 Robbie Gould

6 Ka'imi Fairbairn

7 Matt Gay

8 Harrison Butker

9 Younghoe Koo

10 Jason Myers

11 Austin Seibert

12 Michael Badgley


Good luck this week and when in doubt, start your studs.

Photo via Kansas City Chiefs/Facebook

History repeats itself, unless it doesn't.

(And they say a University of Maryland education is worthless.)

So here's some history worth repeating: In February 1999, President Clinton, after being impeached by the House of Representatives, was acquitted by the Senate; Super Bowl 33 that year was played in Miami. In February 2020, President Trump, after being impeached by the House, likely will be acquitted by the Senate; Super Bowl 54 this year will be played in Miami.

In Super Bowl 33, the AFC champion Denver Broncos beat the NFC champion Atlanta Falcons, 34-19. In Super Bowl 54, it is almost fated that the AFC champion Kansas City Chiefs will beat the NFC champion San Francisco 49ers by the EXACT SAME SCORE, 34-19.

Wow.

And now, as a public service, I am here to provide my 54th annual Super Bowl Viewing Guide (for Super Bowl Parties of Six or More):

This is the Chiefs' first Super Bowl appearance in 50 years. A lot is being made of this. You know who is tired of hearing it? Fans of the Cleveland Browns, Detroit Lions, Houston Texans and Jacksonville Jaguars, the four NFL teams yet to play in a Super Bowl.

Here is a fun Patrick Mahomes factoid. In the 2014 MLB draft, he was selected in the 37th round by the Detroit Tigers. This means that the Tigers have drafted one more Super Bowl quarterback than the Lions have.

Here is a fun Patrick Mahomes observation. He is Stephen Curry in cleats.

I'm not a big nepotism fan – what did my dad ever do for me? – but it sure pays the bills. Mike Shanahan and Kyle Shanahan are the first father-son Super Bowl head-coaching duo; the elder Shanahan won back-to-back titles with the Denver Broncos and son Kyle is the 49ers' honcho. Meanwhile, Joe Buck is calling his sixth Super Bowl for Fox; his dad Jack Buck broadcast Super Bowl 4 on CBS with Pat Summerall.

Family ties are big in sports AND politics. John Adams was the second president (1797-1801) and son John Quincy Adams was the sixth (1825-29). It happened again with George H.W. Bush (1989-93) and George W. Bush (2001-2009). And Donald Trump and Donald Trump Jr. could very well become the first father-son presidential combo to be impeached.

Jimmy Garoppolo apparently completes more passes off the field than on the field. The 49ers quarterback reportedly has dated adult film star Kiara Mia, model Alexandra King and, recently, a VIP bottle-service gal from Sacramento. With the ladies, he makes Tom Brady look like Trent Dilfer.

Here is a controversial take I do not apologize for – on Super Bowl Sunday, dogs are okay and spouses are optional. Toni, a k a She Is The One (And Then Some), will attest to this: I have thrown her out of the house so I can watch in peace, but our beloved pit mix Daisy is allowed to sit by my side, licking herself through endless replay reviews ITAL and END ITAL critical third downs.

There are other, more sobering viewing options on Sunday. For those of you who miss the presence of the New England Patriots, I suggest the three-part Netflix docuseries, Killer Inside: The Mind of Aaron Hernandez.

Your guests deserve wise choices on food and beverage. No to kale, no to quinoa, no to chard, no to coconut water, no to all Budweiser products. Yes to Yuengling, Dr. Brown's Black Cherry soda, San Pellegrino sparkling water, Fritos, olives, capocollo, pigs in a blanket and cacio e pepe.

Super Bowl prop bets are bigger than ever. They're usually bad bets. My favorite? William Hill sports book is offering 9,999-1 odds on the Chiefs scoring exactly four points. Four points? When's the last time an NFL team scored four points? Like, maybe, NEVER. So why waste a dollar? Plus, this should pay 999,999-1, not 9,999-1. Geez.

Only one prop bet is an (almost) sure winner. Heads or tails on the coin flip: It's tails. Trust me. No one has flipped more coins than Couch Slouch. I flip a coin every morning – heads I get dressed, tails I go back to sleep – and I'm in bed almost the entire week.

Ask The Slouch

Special Houston Astros Edition

Q. Will MLB be investigating whether the infamous Cleveland Indians drum-playing fan is actually relaying signs to Indians hitters, or does the team's lack of success make it a moot point? (Dan Cantwell; Albany, N.Y.)

A. Pay the man, Shirley.

Q. Will the Astros be able to hit major league pitching if they don't know what pitch is coming? (Michael Seltz; Alexandria, Va.)

A. Pay the man, Shirley.

Q. Will any win over the Astros in the future be described as a buzzer beater? (John Haluska; Guilderland, N.Y.)

A. Pay the man, Shirley.

Q. How might the Astros have fared if Mitch McConnell were commissioner instead of Rob Manfred? (Joe Salo; Latham, N.Y.)

A. Pay the man, Shirley.

Q. Does MLB' s one-year suspension of A.J. Hinch prevent him from getting a job with the New England Patriots? (Bruce Ellisen; Washington, D.C.)

A. Pay the man, Shirley.

You, too, can enter the $1.25 Ask The Slouch Cash Giveaway. Just email asktheslouch@aol.com and, if your question is used, you win $1.25 in cash!

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