TV ALTERNATIVES
We've seen this episode of the Super Bowl before - Here's what else TV has to offer on Super Bowl Sunday
Stephen Uzick
Jan 26, 2018, 7:06 am
We all know how this Super Bowl ends. New England Patriots website
Raise your hand if this Super Bowl (can I say that here? Or do I have to say “Big Game?”) match up just doesn’t do it for you. Mine is up, actually both hands are – are yours? My guess is that they are.
People love to say that millennials are killing everything. Well as a millennial I can tell you that the Patriots are killing the Super Bowl. Last year the Patriots presence killed my interest in the game from a football perspective, but I watched because I wanted to see our city shine. This year, though, there is nothing to connect me to the game. Usually I am down to watch football no matter who is playing, but the Patriots just suck the fun out of it. Watching a Super Bowl with the Patriots is like watching a show in syndication. While I would love to be wrong, I am confident I already know the storyline. It's the same one that has been repeated in 71% of the Super Bowls the Patriots have played in with Brady and Belichick, and in 100% of the ones where the Patriots play anyone other than the New York Giants. In case you forgot it goes something like this:
Patriots get down early
Patriots gradually climb back in the game
Clock gets late in the game, opponent is still leading, you think “The Patriots might actually lose.”
Opponent makes bone-headed move
Patriots make incredible play
Patriots score go-ahead points with 2 minutes or less remaining
You feel like an idiot for actually thinking the other team might win
I can’t be the only one who has grown tired of this script right? I mean if I want to watch something where I know the evil empire is going to score a victory I may as well just watch The Empire Strikes Back for the 387th time. At least there are lightsabers and lasers in that. So with my interest being at an all time low, I began to wonder what else I could watch during the Super Bowl. Can the rest of TV provide anything more compelling? Here is what else is on during the Super Bowl:
NCIS, NCIS New Orleans, NCIS Los Angeles (CBS) – It’s an around the country NCIS marathon. I really know nothing about this show, but know it has been on forever and has spinoffs in pretty much every city. I am pretty sure it is based on some government law-enforcement agency, but I have never heard of the NCIS outside of this show. Why is that? Regardless, I’m sure even NCIS Salt Lake City is more interesting than the Super Bowl will be.
The Simpsons (Fox) – Usually a solid 30 minutes of entertainment. I admittedly have not watched in years, but when I did the writers always seemed to keep it fresh - something the AFC has been incapable of.
Animals With Cameras (PBS) – Just the title alone is enough to capture my interest. How do these animals acquire the cameras? Is this the beginning of the primate uprising?
Puppy Bowl XI (Animal Planet) – Always a solid choice during the Super Bowl. I bet this gets much better ratings than you’d think. I smell an Animals With Cameras cross-over episode opportunity.
The Real Housewives of Atlanta (Bravo) – You want drama, you want un-predictable, you want aggression, and you want rich people whining? Forget the NFL – this is your show.
Death Row Stories marathon (CNN) – Another show whose title draws you in. Probably not as fun as Animals with Cameras but I bet it sucks you in nonetheless.
Chappelle’s Show marathon (Comedy Central) – Of all the counter Super Bowl programming this may be the winner. I could watch this over the Super Bowl without a twinge of regret.
30 for 30 (ESPN) – “The U” episode. This was one of my favorite 30 for 30s, plus the promo song they ran with it was stuck in my head for months. I bet no less than five times you say “Oh yeah, I forgot he went to Miami.” I may actually DVR this to watch it again.
Jersey Shore marathon (MTV) – If Gronk isn’t playing you can always watch this to get your Gronk fix.
Air Disasters (Smithsonian) – If you never plan to fly again you may think about checking this out.
Law and Order SVU marathon (USA) – Always a go-to when there is nothing else on. Law and Order is one of those few shows that you can watch for days on end even if you have seen every episode four times. Since it does not appear there will be a new episode of the Super Bowl until Tom Brady retires you should probably just make Law and Order your rerun of choice on Super Bowl Sunday.
*Who am I kidding - I’ll probably watch, if for no other reason than it gives me an excuse to eat all the delicious crap people serve on Super Bowl Sunday.
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The phrase most associated with the late former Oakland-Los Angeles-Oakland Raiders’ owner Al Davis was “Just win baby.” One has to think Al would strongly approve of the Houston Astros. Going to the fifth inning Sunday against the Mariners the Astros were facing a 3-0 deficit and staring at the prospect of being swept out of Seattle and having their American League West division lead slashed to just two games. Now after roaring from behind with 11 unanswered runs to take the series finale in the Emerald City, and then sweeping three games from the Diamondbacks in Phoenix, the Astros stand six games up with 60 games to go. So, if the Astros play just .500 ball the rest of the way (which would have them finish with 90 victories), the Mariners have to play .600 ball to catch them. If somehow the Astros are to maintain their season long win pace to the finish line they’d close with 95 wins, and the race is already over unless someone thinks the M’s are poised to uncork a finishing kick of 41-19 or better. It’s quite a pleasing perch from which the Astros survey the standings. Coupled with the freefalling Detroit Tigers having dropped nine of their last ten games, the Astros amazingly start this homestand sporting the best record in the entire American League. On the homestand they follow four games against the team with the second-worst record in the American League (Athletics) with three versus the team with the second-worst record in the National League (Nationals). I know, I know. There is fear of the Astros playing down to the competition, but that is not the way to look at it. A bad Major League team can beat a good team in a series at any time. If it happens it happens, but it wouldn’t mean it happened only because the Astros didn’t take their opponent seriously. This isn’t the NBA.
Trade deadline looming
Of course, It hasn’t been all good news with Isaac Paredes badly injuring a hamstring Sunday. Paredes could be back in three weeks (doubtful), he could miss the rest of the season. GET WELL SOON JEREMY PENA! Lance McCullers’s latest Injured List stint could be considered addition by subtraction for the Astros’ starting rotation. Whether impacted by his blister issue, Lance was lousy in four of his last five starts. So, one week from the trade deadline, if general manager Dana Brown has the ammo to get one deal done, where does he make the upgrade? The left-handed hitter everyone knows the Astros can use regardless of Yordan Alvarez’s status is a natural priority. With the Astros’ weak farm system it would seem difficult for Brown to put forth the winning offer for the top bats that could be in play. That probably rings even truer now, since if he wasn’t already untouchable, Brice Matthews may have cemented untouchable status by darn near winning the first two games of the Diamondbacks series by himself. Matthews is going to struggle mightily to hit for a good average if he can’t make notable improvement in the contact department, but the power is obvious, as is the athleticism in the field. The 23-year-old Matthews and 22-year-old Cam Smith (though presently mired in a three for 36 slump) are the clear (and right now only) two young shining beacons for the lineup’s future.
You can't have enough pitching
While Brandon Walter has been a revelation, a starting pitcher would make sense unless the decision is to hope Spencer Arrighetti and/or Cristian Javier can contribute meaningfully upon return to the big leagues, likely sometime next month. Going after a reliever or two may make more sense in terms of availability and transaction cost. Overall the Astros’ bullpen has been excellent, but Bryan Abreu is the only trustworthy right-handed option for Joe Espada. Back to Walter. Barely two months ago no way Walter himself would have believed he’d be where he is now. Nine starts since being summoned basically out of desperation, Walter has a 3.35 earned run average, and a stunning 13 to one strikeout-to-walk ratio with his 52 strikeouts against a measly four walks allowed in 53 2/3 innings. Walter has pitched fabulously in seven of his nine starts. He only has two wins, but that’s because in five of the six Walter starts the Astros didn’t win the game they failed to score more than two runs. Walter turns 29 years old in September. His only prior big league experience was 23 innings in relief with a 6.26 ERA for the Red Sox two years ago. The Bosox released him last August, the Astros signed him basically as minor league depth. Look at him (and the Astros) now.
For Astro-centric conversation, join Brandon Strange, Josh Jordan, and me for the Stone Cold ‘Stros podcast which drops each Monday afternoon, with an additional episode now on Thursday. Click here to catch!
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