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Who is the worst owner in professional sports? A tale of the tape

Who is the worst owner in professional sports? A tale of the tape
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Dan Snyder

Just before the turn of the century, two monsters of a new millennium were unleashed on the unsuspecting sporting communities of New York and Washington. Twenty years later, two franchises – the NBA Knicks and the NFL R*dsk*ns – have fallen from proud to pathetic, laying in waste in a rubble-filled puddle of dysfunction and defeat.

Today we bring you an overdue comparison of the presumptive worst owners in professional sports, the Knicks' James Dolan and the R*dsk*ns' Daniel Snyder:

Phoenix Suns v New York Knicks/James Dolan

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How They Got There. To his credit, the 55-year-old Snyder, a college dropout, is a self-made billionaire (perhaps forever tainting the terms "self-made" and "billionaire"), parlaying his Snyder Communications marketing company into buying the Redskins in 1999 for $800 million. Dolan, 64, climbed the ranks the old-fashioned way – he is the son of Cablevision founder Charles Dolan, and his dad handed him control of the Knicks in 1999.

Team Records. Under Dolan, the Knicks have the worst record in the NBA in the 21st century, winning exactly one playoff series (2013) and missing the postseason the past six years. Under Snyder, the R*dsk*ns are 142-190-1, with a grand total of two playoff victories (1999, 2005 seasons).

Coaches. Dolan has had 13 head coaches in 20 seasons, including Herb Williams twice; he fired David Fizdale this month. Snyder has only had nine coaches in 20 seasons; he fired Jay Gruden in October, asking him to report to the R*dsk*ns facility at 5 a.m. to be told of his dismissal. (At least he beat traffic.)

Front Office Boo-Boos. Dolan hired Isiah Thomas as team president and subsequently hired him as head coach. Snyder first had Vinny Cerrato running the team, followed by Bruce Allen. If Thomas, Cerrato and Allen ran Bed Bath & Beyond, there would be no bath or beyond.

Business Hiccups. Dolan reportedly lost $250 million for Cablevision when he bought the failing Wiz electronics chain, which ended up in liquidation. Snyder seized control of Six Flags, taking it into bankruptcy four years later. Apparently, integrated circuitry and theme parks ain't in these guys' wheelhouse.

Customer Relations: After a fan yelled at Dolan to "sell the team" following a home loss in March, Dolan banned him from Madison Square Garden for life; he has attempted to bar individuals several times from Knicks games. Snyder once banned fan signs from FedEx Field (largely to eliminate embarrassing, critical messages), once disallowed pedestrian traffic into FedEx Field (largely to prevent fans from parking at a nearby mall to avoid stadium parking fees) and sued season-ticket holders who back out of long-term contracts (largely to extract more money from the serfs).

Media Relations. Both virtually never grant interviews. As part of a long-running feud, Dolan barred the New York Daily News from a post-draft press conference in June, incurring a $50,000 NBA fine. Snyder once sued the Washington City Paper and writer Dave McKenna for the greatest Snyder article ever penned, "The Cranky R*dsk*ns Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," before dropping the action in 2011.

Hobbies. Dolan is the frontman and guitarist for the blues-inspired rock band JD & The Straight Shot. Snyder is the owner of a $180 million superyacht that includes an IMAX theater, a basketball court and a helipad; it can accommodate several hundred passengers, coincidentally about the same number of people attending R*dsk*ns home games this season.

Temperament. They both have a bad temperament.

Conclusion: Who Is Worse? With cooperation from the Johns Hopkins Advanced Physics Laboratory and ESPN Stats & Info, we created a complex analytical model to deconstruct the two owners. And the results? Remarkably, the numbers indicate that, if Dolan and Snyder swapped franchises over the last two decades, the Knicks and the R*dsk*ns would still have the exact same records over that span.

Ask The Slouch

Q.Vanna White is currently pinch-hitting for the injured Pat Sajak. If you went on the D.L., who would peck away on the old Smith Corona? (Jack Drury; Cumberland, Md.)

A. Our one-month contingency calls for Toni to handle two columns, Shirley to handle one and Daisy – our 90-pound pit mix with a 25-word vocabulary – to handle the other.

Q.Does the Bureau of Engraving and Printing literally print money? (Dan Campos; Miami Beach, Fla.)

A. No. Scott Boras does.

Q.How can you explain the execrable Lane Kiffin getting his fifth head-coaching job? (Howard Freed; Mequon, Wis.)

A. I assume he interviews well.

Q.A la Le'Veon Bell, have you ever called in sick for work and then went bowling? (Tim Jones; Philadelphia)

A. No, but I opted to bowl on the second night of my second honeymoon, effectively ending the honeymoon.

Q.Are there any videos in the Patriots' "Do Your Job" series that AREN'T about cheating? (Mark Cohen; Gibsonia, Pa.)

A. Pay the man, Shirley.

You, too, can enter the $1.25 Ask The Slouch Cash Giveaway. Just email asktheslouch@aol.com and, if your question is used, you win $1.25 in cash!

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Texans HC DeMeco Ryans has some work to do. Composite Getty Image.

Trailing 14-0 in the second quarter of Sunday’s rout by the Minnesota Vikings, the Houston Texans were trying desperately to put points on the board before halftime to get back into the game.

The drive was going well, starting with a 19-yard reception by Stefon Diggs and later a 13-yard catch-and-run by Dare Ogunbowale for another first down.

Then facing a manageable third-and-4, the Texans were flagged for a false start. And then another one. And then a third. Finally, a fourth straight penalty — this one for an illegal formation — was declined by the Vikings to force one of three consecutive punts.

Sure, Minnesota played well, but as coach DeMeco Ryans said, “the Texans helped the Vikings a lot” in the 34-7 win.

The Texans had 11 penalties Sunday after committing 12 in Week 2.

“We didn’t do anything to help ourselves,” Ryans said. “Way too many penalties, again. That starts with me. That’s too many penalties. Back-to-back games over 10 penalties is unacceptable. You can’t win that way. When we have something positive going, we negate (it) by the penalties. That just zaps the energy out of everyone.”

Left tackle Laremy Tunsil, a four-time Pro Bowl selection, was the worst offender Sunday, committing a whopping six penalties, including five in the first half. He was called for three false starts and three illegal formation penalties. The nine-year veteran has nine penalties in three games.

“The pre-snap penalties, it’s all self-inflicted, so we have to take ownership of it,” Ryans said. “We all have to man up and be man enough to just do what we’re supposed to do and be where we’re supposed to be and play smart, clean football."

Andre Ware, the 1989 Heisman Trophy winner and longtime Texans’ radio color commentator, was outraged after one of Tunsil’s penalties.

“It’s every week, though!” he yelled on the broadcast. “You’re a Pro Bowl player! There’s no excuse for that! None.”

The penalties weren’t Houston’s only problem. C.J. Stroud threw two interceptions after playing turnover-free football in the team’s first two wins.

“We weren’t executing, weren’t playing hard enough,” Stroud said. “It starts with me. Just got to be better. It’s something that I felt like can be fixed, so it’s nothing to hang our heads down about. But definitely can and will be better.”

What's working

Houston’s pass rush continues to be a strength. The Texans had five sacks Sunday after tying for the second-most sacks in franchise history with seven against the Bears.

What needs help

There’s a lot to choose from after a game like Sunday’s, but the most pressing issue must be eliminating pre-snap penalties.

Stroud said he doesn’t know why they’re struggling so much in that area but vowed to fix the problem.

“There has to be conversation away from the game and just meetings and just seeing what we can do to be better when it’s loud and how intentional we have to be in practice and things like that, just to get those things fixed,” he said. “We’re moving the ball, it’s just you’re kicking yourself out of the red zone and kicking opportunities, and it’s hard to live on third-and-plus-10.”

Stock up

Defensive tackle Tim Settle had a career-high two sacks Sunday after the seven-year veteran had just nine career sacks entering the game.

Stock down

As noted, Tunsil’s penalties were part of a series of miscues that doomed Houston’s offense. Long lauded for his pass protection skills, Tunsil often has struggled with pre-snap penalties, though never to this extent.

Injuries

RB Joe Mixon missed the game with an ankle injury. … RB Dameon Pierce was out for a second straight game against Minnesota with a hamstring injury. … WR Tank Dell looked to have injured his hand or wrist late in the game, but Ryans said he is expected to be fine.

Key number

266 – Stroud had thrown 266 passes without an interception before he was picked off on the team’s first drive on Sunday. It was a streak that dated back to Nov. 19, 2023, a span of nine games, including two in the postseason.

Next steps

The Texans will work to clean up their play and try to get the offense back on track when they return to division play with a visit from the Jaguars on Sunday.

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