LANCE ZIERLEIN

Winning in the NFL "is hard," but here are some things that are harder. Plus World Series and Lil Yachty

Bill O'Brien explaining to a ref how hard winning can be. Joe Robbins/Getty Images

After Sunday’s convincing 20-7 win over the would-be bullies of Jacksonville, Bill O’Brien was asked about winning ugly and, as you might expect, he didn’t really appreciate the question. To be fair on both sides, the Texans are on a four-game win streak and were coming off of a fairly dominating road performance of a Jacksonville squad who may expected win the division. On the flip side, the Texans winning streak has been far from impressive or even fluid.

O’Brien commented about how hard it was to win in the NFL and something to the effect of it being one of the hardest things to do in sports. I’m paraphrasing a little bit, but just go with it because it works best for this section of the article. I will now attempt to lay out things in sports that are harder than winning an NFL game:

  • Beating Khabib Nurmagomedov appears to be infinitely harder than winning an NFL game at this juncture.

  • Trying to beat the Golden State Warriors in a playoff series as an opposing coach would appear to be harder than winning an NFL game.

  • Trying to get a hit off of Justin Verlander is absolutely, without question, harder to do than winning an NFL game.

  • Making a hole in one….. Harder.

The Who Cares World Series

On paper, the Red Sox and Dodgers make for an interesting and potentially entertaining World Series, but if you are an Astros fan, can you even watch? I might catch a game or two, but that could have been us.

Why am I going to pay attention to what the Mega Millions winner does with their money? Why am I going to pay attention to what an ex-girlfriend does after we are broken up? I’ve got World Series FOMO, but we ARE missing out so I’ll just check out. Plus, this is obviously Boston’s year so it’s a wrap anyway.

Setting Low Bars

We all know that society is being dumbed down and is actively dumbing itself down on a regular basis. I’m not telling you something you don’t know. If I am, then you are the culprit, dummy.

I saw two examples that perfectly capture just how dumb we are getting. I’ll start with Subway. They are trying to get us hyped about their new Chipotle Cheesesteak and nothing gets me more hyped than bottle flipping.

Now one bottle being flipped is pretty cool. I mean, that’s a huge achievement. But when you are trying to get people really hyped up, you have to raise the stakes, right?!
 

OMFG!!!!! He just killed the f*#*ing game!!!! He did a four bottle flip!!!!! Give me those Chipotle Cheesesteaks right now! I want 10 of them! If this kid can flip four bottles then anything is possible! Maybe China won’t continue to lap us! Maybe robots aren’t going to take all of our jobs and then murder us! This is a wonderful celebration of accomplishment!

Oh, and it wasn’t just that. Monday Night Football featured Lil Yachty. They intentionally booked Lil Yachty because someone thought it was a good idea. I’m not fan of mumble rap and, in fact, I think it’s a classic example of how we are sliding into oblivion. There are still some very good hip hop artists out there, but somehow acts like Lil Yachty are not only in the spotlight, but are selling to the same people who think bottle flips are electric. The trick shot people are wondering how in the world bottle flips passed them. Here is some Lil Yachty in case you don’t believe me.

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Texans fall to 1-6. Photo by Getty Images

Don't you worry, son. It will all be over soon.

- Teddy KGB, Rounders

The Texans horrible season continued on Sunday when they were soundly beaten by the Green Bay Packers. The Texans got some garbage points to make the score look better late, but they were never in this. They could not run the football, and even though he had a receiving score, maybe it's time the David Johnson experiment ended. Aaron Rodgers ate their souls with four touchdown passes and the Texans fell to 1-6. Five thoughts on the game:

1) First impressions? Not so much. For the seventh time this season, the Texans failed to score on their opening drive. They had ONE touchdown last season on their opening drive, week 17 against the Titans. While Bill O'Brien still gets a lot of that blame, Tim Kelly is now 0 for 3 as an OC. Whoever takes over next season has to fix this. Especially against good teams, the Texans simply can't afford to get down early. They were down 21-0 at the half and never had a real chance.

2) There is good news! Hopefully this lets the team know that there is no chance of anything this season. With the trade deadline looming, any veteran not named Watson or Tunsil should be available for draft picks. It remains unlikely they will do anything, but they have some pieces that might bring a return. Hopefully they no longer think the season can be salvaged.

3) They really aren't close against good teams. The little things continue to be a problem. Key penalties to hurt drives; untimely failures on third down. The offense has to do a better job staying on the field, because the defense just is not good enough to stop solid offenses. Things got worse when their best corner, Bradley Roby went out with injury. Overall, the Packers were better on both sides of the ball, and they made the Texans look bad throughout. The Texans needed some breaks to go their way in order to be competitive, like what happened last week against Tennessee. That didn't happen, and they were never in the game.

4) They won special teams! They blocked a punt in the fourth quarter that helped make the final score a little closer. They also blocked a kick last week. Other than their overpaid kicker (who missed a field goal), the special teams have been solid. Their punter might be the best player at his job on the entire team. So there's that. A positive, right?

5) The future? Meh. The Texans get the Jaguars, Browns and Patriots next, so they should have a chance at some wins, but they could also lose to all three of those teams. And with no high draft pick reward at the end of the year, there is little left to play or root for in this season.

With nine games left, you would like to think there was something left to care about. But if it isn't over yet, it's as Teddy said: It will all be over soon.

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