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Astros postseason guide for dummies and those who are casual fans

Astros postseason guide for dummies and those who are casual fans
Jose Altuve is the "short one." Photo by Bob Levey/Getty Images

It's playoff baseball time once again here in Houston. For some fans, Friday's ALDS Game 1 serves as a reward for surviving yet another marathon 162-game regular season schedule. All of the treks to the ballpark across scorching asphalt mid summer, all of the subsequent waiting in Minute Maid Park's woefully mismanaged entry lines, all the games caught at a bar or listened to in a car...all of it was for this. You can all put away your September baseball advent calendars and stock up on heartburn medicine, because you made it.

For other fans, the interest is moreso a “rooting” one and less of a “living and breathing” one. You may have checked the standings here and there and caught a game or two, but by and large it wasn't that big of a deal. If you identify with this description...well you are so in luck right now, your head should be spinning because I have you covered, friend. What lies ahead is the most definitive Astros Round One Playoff Primer you could ever be primed with. This is for the fan who knows that Jose Altuve is “the short one that can hit,” and still yells “Woo!” after the anything positive happens in the game. My goal here is to make sure you don't sound dumb talking to your friends about the Astros for the next week. Here we go.

The Matchup

The Astros will be playing the Cleveland Indians in a best of FIVE (not seven, that's later) series. Between the two, Houston had the better regular season record overall and therefore owns home field advantage throughout the series. The first two games will be played here in Houston, the next two will be in Cleveland, and--if needed--a fifth will be played back in Houston.

How Houston Made It

Pitching. Filthy pitching. I'm talking historically filthy, beautiful pitching. Their bats have been great as well, but the story this season has been about Justin Verlander, Gerrit Cole and Charlie Morton laying the smackdown on major league batters night in and night out. The Astros set a franchise record for wins in a season and fended off an unreal late season push by the Oakland Athletics for their second straight AL West division crown.

How Cleveland Made It

Well, oddly enough, pitching as well. It could be argued that the Astros and the Indians have the two best starting rotations in baseball. Last year it was easily the Indians, but this year it swings more in Houston's favor.

So if anyone goes “The Astros are gonna win it!” You can sound smart by saying “Yea, we just have to watch out for the Indians pitching!” You just sounded crazy level-headed. Way to go.

The Indians cruised to an AL Central division title this season despite losing 12 more games than Houston. Much like the Astros case last season, there playoff berth was all but guaranteed, as they were the only team in the division to finish with a record above .500.

Astros Players to Know

Alex Bregman: Third Baseman. Went absolutely bonkers hitting the baseball in June and basically carried the Astros through the season offensively. Played his way into the MVP conversation, but probably won't win because the guys that will started a lot hotter. Have you noticed that when the Astros hit home runs they flash a “blue steel” pose at the nearest dugout camera? Bregman started that. And he's crazy clutch. Let's practice a scenario:

Bregman walks up to bat with runners on the bases. Take a sip of your beer, lean over and explain that “we're basically guaranteed a run because everyone knows how clutch Bregman is.” Be sure to be smug about it. Die hard baseball fans will only give you information in a smug declarative tone.

Justin Verlander: Pitcher. Ace. Pretty old, but still really good. Currently in the conversation for the Cy Young award this year. Verlander is the big daddy of the locker room, second only to the manager, and sometimes I question even that. Currently also the husband to Kate Upton, which at least four people will bring up. That one guy that showed up to watch the game only because people are there and thinks baseball is dumb? He's going to call him “Kate Upton's husband” because he thinks snarky humor is actually funny. Ignore him.

Jose Altuve: Second Basemen. 2017 AL MVP. The most consistent bat the Astros have and also the most perfect height for noogie. Altuve started the playoffs last season with three (THREE!!!) home runs in game one. Don't make height jokes while you're watching, they're overplayed and I already did it for you.

Gerrit Cole: Pitcher. Strikes everyone out. Even you. Voted best hair on the team by me, only slightly edging out outfielder Jake Marisnick and first baseman Yuli Gurriel. His nickname is “Cole Train,” so in game two pepper that in to sound informed.

“Atta boy, Cole train!” --you, post-strikeout.

Carlos Correa: Shortstop. Defensive stud. He will make throws that make you go “wait, what?” He's usually a good hitter, but hurt his back this season and has been hitting pretty poorly lately. Say something like “We really need Correa to heat back up. He's just been trying too hard and needs to stop trying to do too much at the plate.” No one will argue it, because you sound like you have a finger on the pulse of the team.

Dallas Keuchel: Pitcher. He's the one with the long, overly man-scaped beard. Showed his butt in The Body Issue of ESPN the Magazine. Wasn't bad. He doesn't strike people out as much as Verlander and Cole, rather he relies on fooling batters into swinging at bad pitches. They do, and it usually results in a ground out. He was bad in the beginning of the season, but leveled out after the all star break. Want to sound smart for game three? Drop this on your buddies: “He usually gives up most of his runs in the first inning. After that he settles in, so if we get through that we're golden.”

Indians Players to Know

Corey Kluber: Pitcher. Former Cy Young award winner. He’s filthy, and he will frustrate you game one. Nicknamed “Klubot.” I don’t really get it. His wife bet he couldn’t go a year without shaving so he didn’t until she gave in in late August. Not sure if that matters.

Francisco Lindor: Shortstop. He’s one of Cleveland’s biggest offensive threats. You’re going to be frustrated and not want to like him, but he’s actually a really, really great guy. Save your wrath for someone far more deserving. Someone like:

Trevor Bauer: Pitcher. Instigator. Bauer is a good pitcher, but also a weird dude who uses Twitter more than he should. Here's what you need to know about this gu. He had his team in the thick of a legit World Series Championship approach, but ruined his pitching hand with a drone. That’s a real thing. So too is his accusation of the Astros as cheaters. This is where you channel your boos. Also, call him Tyler. Trust me.

Jose Ramirez: Third Baseman. Fearsome hitter. On the fringes of the MVP discussion. Just like Lindor, you’re going to want to get amd at him but these two guys are just such great humans off the field, I can’t endorse that.

What to Expect

Fast, low scoring games. I say that, but last year we were all hyped up for Verlander versus Chris Sale and it ended up as an 8-2 Astros win. The Cleveland Indians are a team deserving of your concern in a 5 game series because of their elite pitching and the ability of their bats to get really hot really quick. I still expect the Astros to win in four and we can run this back and learn about some more baseball teams. Now go out there, talk baseball, and make me proud.

 

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A lockout appears unavoidable! Photo via: Wiki Commons.

Looming over baseball is a likely lockout in December 2026, a possible management push for a salary cap and perhaps lost regular-season games for the first time since 1995.

“No one’s talking about it, but we all know that they’re going to lock us out for it, and then we’re going to miss time,” New York Mets All-Star first baseman Pete Alonso said Monday at the All-Star Game. “We’re definitely going to fight to not have a salary cap and the league’s obviously not going to like that.”

Baseball Commissioner Rob Manfred and some owners have cited payroll disparity as a problem, while at the same time MLB is working to address a revenue decline from regional sports networks. Unlike the NFL, NBA and NHL, baseball has never had a salary cap because its players staunchly oppose one.

Despite higher levels of luxury tax that started in 2022, the World Series champion Los Angeles Dodgers and New York Mets have pushed payrolls to record levels. The last small-market MLB club to win a World Series was the Kansas City Royals in 2015.

After signing outfielder Juan Soto to a record $765 million contract, New York opened this season with an industry-high $326 million payroll, nearly five times Miami’s $69 million, according to Major League Baseball’s figures. Using luxury tax payrolls, based on average annual values that account for future commitments and include benefits, the Dodgers were first at $400 million and on track to owe a record luxury tax of about $151 million — shattering the previous tax record of $103 million set by Los Angeles last year.

“When I talk to the players, I don’t try to convince them that a salary cap system would be a good thing,” Manfred told the Baseball Writers’ Association of America on Tuesday. “I identify a problem in the media business and explain to them that owners need to change to address that problem. I then identify a second problem that we need to work together and that is that there are fans in a lot of our markets who feel like we have a competitive balance problem.”

Baseball’s collective bargaining agreement expires Dec. 1, 2026, and management lockouts have become the norm, which shifts the start of a stoppage to the offseason. During the last negotiations, the sides reached a five-year deal on March 10 after a 99-day lockout, salvaging a 162-game 2022 season.

“A cap is not about a partnership. A cap isn’t about growing the game,” union head Tony Clark said Tuesday. “A cap is about franchise values and profits. ... A salary cap historically has limited contract guarantees associated with it, literally pits one player against another and is often what we share with players as the definitive non-competitive system. It doesn’t reward excellence. It undermines it from an organizational standpoint. That’s why this is not about competitive balance. It’s not about a fair versus not. This is institutionalized collusion.”

The union’s opposition to a cap has paved the way for record-breaking salaries for star players. Soto’s deal is believed to be the richest in pro sports history, eclipsing Shohei Ohtani’s $700 million deal with the Dodgers signed a year earlier. By comparison, the biggest guaranteed contract in the NFL is $250 million for Buffalo Bills quarterback Josh Allen.

Manfred cites that 10% of players earn 72% of salaries.

“I never use the word `salary’ within one of `cap,’” he said. “What I do say to them is in addressing this competitive issue that’s real we should think about whether this system is the perfect system from a players’ perspective.”

A management salary cap proposal could contain a salary floor and a guaranteed percentage of revenue to players. Baseball players have endured nine work stoppages, including a 7 1/2-month strike in 1994-95 that fought off a cap proposal.

Agent Scott Boras likens a cap plan to attracting kids to a “gingerbread house.”

“We’ve heard it for 20 years. It’s almost like the childhood fable,” he said. “This very traditional, same approach is not something that would lead the younger players to the gingerbread house.”

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