How did the Texans star do at 30 Rockefeller Center?

Grading J.J. Watt's SNL appearance

Photo by Slaven Vlasic/Getty Images for Sports Illustrated

J.J. Watt hosted SNL on Saturday and he did a good job. We take a look at this performances and the skits themselves get graded overall with Watt's performance weighing heavily on how the final grade for the skit plays out.

The Monologue: A-

A good athlete monologue. A solid monologue. They did put some solid jokes in there making fun of him being an athlete. A nice brothers joke. The freaking Fox robot being his dad was a solid joke. Took some shots at himself for being out of the Super Bowl. Good solid start. NBC played Eli Manning's SNL earlier in the day and Watt easily beat Eli's opener.

Frozen 2: B-

Watt gets dinged for the overall weakness of the skit. Certainly nothing was his fault here. He was funny in his part though as Kristoff. He isn't in there a ton but has a few moments that elicited a chuckle. That wig is great.

Robbie: A

Fantastic. A parody of Rudy and this was so well done. The story of Rudy has grown over the years despite plenty of his teammates, including Joe Montana, shooting down the mystique. Watt played his part great here and the jokes kept flying.

The Sex Talk: A+++

Absolutely crushed. Knocked. It. Out. So many different quotable moments. Even had a shout out to one of Watt's sponsors. His best of the night.

Men's Product: A

Short, sweet, and to the point. An athlete-centric skit for the athlete. Well done.

Pilot Hunk: C

Nothing Watt could do with this one. He was put in a box and the writers took a chance on a Bachelor trope and it didn't really pay off. A couple of laughs but nothing sustainable and not nearly the quality of other sketches.

Madden 21: A++

This was very well done. Typical Madden talk and then hilarity ensues. Watt delivers so many funny lines in this one.

Society Debut: B

To me Watt did the best he could with this one. Pretty funny delivery as Bigfoot. Decent stuff and a light chuckle here and there.

Pizza Place: A

A riff on 1970's porno and how hilarious it would be for the delivery guy to have to keep coming back into work? Yeah that worked out pretty well. Well done on the writing and Watt playing a hard working and naive pizza boy was well done.

Overall Grade: A+

Watt didn't bomb at all on any of his roles in the show. He had some HILARIOUS moments, recovered from a hiccup or two with no issue, and did the most with what SNL gave him. Athletes typically don't get the invite back for another one but I wouldn't be shocked to see Watt pop up with some light work on TV or in movies after these performances.

Most Popular

SportsMap Emails
Are Awesome

Listen Live

Composite image by Brandon Strange.

I certainly understand – and agree with – players who are refusing to go to Orlando to restart this NBA season interruptus. What I don't get is, why baseball is so hot to get a shortened, bizarre season with weird rule changes underway. And why not push the NFL and college football back to 2021, when there may be a vaccine for COVID-19 or at least a better handle on the pandemic?

When hopefully sports can pick up, where they left off, safely with stands filled with cheering fans.

Sports are dangerous in 2020. Coronavirus is a highly contagious, dangerous disease that we still know very little about. Testing is unreliable, with possible false negatives, and results are taking an extra-long time to come back. Six NBA training facilities have shut down because players and staff are testing positive. A bubble isn't 100-percent guaranteed to keep players safe from catching COVID-19. I hear the NBA say the bubble in Orlando will be "as safe as possible." That's not very comforting … "as possible."

Baseball is our most statistic-driven sport. With a season shortened to an unnatural 60 games, and teams' schedules based more on geography than rivalry, fans won't – or shouldn't – take 2020 seriously. What if a player hits .400 for the 60-game season, like when Chipper Jones was hitting .408 after 60 games in 2008? Would anybody accept that a player in 2020, not Ted Williams in 1941, is the last player to top .400 for a season? How will it look if a starting pitcher, who gets only 10 starts the whole season to protect his arm, wins the Cy Young Award with a 7-3 record? Every plate appearance, every pitch thrown, will have a big fat, silly asterisk attached to it.

The Astros won't be traveling to New York to face the Yankees and their angry fans. The current plan has no fans anywhere. You won't hear "Get your peanuts" and "kill the ump" and, depending on the city, "cheaters!" Baseball is a game that thrives on sound as much as images. Baseball will be a silent movie in 2020.

Unless you're LeBron James chasing Michael Jordan's six NBA titles, or the Freak going for back-to-back MVP trophies, or James Harden and Russell Westbrook putting an exclamation point on their Hall of Fame careers, what's to be gained by entering a boring, claustrophobic bubble to complete the 2020 NBA season?

You don't have to be a risk-management expert like George Costanza to know resumption of the NBA season is fraught with danger. San Antonio Spurs star DeMar DeRozan is 30 years old and can be an unrestricted free agent next season. The Spurs currently are 27-36, on the outside looking in for an unlikely playoff spot. DeRozan already has been paid $20 million of his $27.8 million salary for this season. He is on Forbes list of the 100 highest-paid athletes in America. He could be in line for another huge-money contract next year. So he's going to go to Orlando, probably to play eight meaningless games, and risk an injury that could cost him a long-term max contract in a few months? DeRozan already has made $121 million over his 10-year career. He doesn't need to travel to Orlando, live in a social experiment environment, to pick up a few measly millions. For what, for the Spurs to clinch a non-playoff spot?

DeRozan, and every other player, isn't just risking a career-ending knee or Achilles injury. We don't know everything about the long-term health consequences of COVID-19. The disease could leave behind lifelong kidney problems or reduced lung capacity. Basketball is a sport that requires ultimate cardio conditioning. Most NBA players will be eligible for free agency, and more and more money, in the next few years. The NBA says no player will be punished if he decides to pass on Orlando. I'd sit out Disney for sure. Pro sports stars are used to living privileged, posh lives. They live in mansions and drive luxury cars and eat in private rooms at the best restaurants. They're going to have trouble cooped up in hotels with guards at the doors to keep them inside. You really think Mrs. Star Athlete isn't going to the salon for the next four months.? I know "normal" women who can't go two weeks without getting their toes done.

I talked with a high school football coach recently. He said football is the perfect petri dish for spreading COVID. We do know that the No. 1 way to spread coronavirus is for an infected person to cough or breath on other people. That's the whole idea behind social distancing and wearing masks. We've all seen football games played in cold weather, where you see the cold, misting breath of opposing lineman collide only inches apart. Then the players huddle up with their helmets practically touching. Prominent college coaches reportedly are OK with delaying the season until spring. Oklahoma coach Lincoln Riley describes a spring season as "very doable." So why not "doable" it?

A few baseball teams, including the Houston Astros, had to cancel practice this week because there was an unexpected delay in getting back players' coronavirus test results. Is this any way to run a major sport? Mike Trout, the best player in baseball, isn't sure he will play the 2020 season. Trout and his wife are expecting their first child. Other stars like Kris Bryant and Buster Posey aren't confident that their health will be protected if they play this year. David Price and more have flat out said no to 2020. One pro soccer team had to quit the MLS season because so many of its players have tested positive for coronavirus. Boston Celtics star Gordon Hayward's wife is pregnant. Hayward already has promised to leave the Orlando bubble when his fourth child is born in September. NBA players are physically fit young men. Many have wives and girlfriends, sometimes both. It's not natural, certainly not fun, for players to enter a biosphere without their partners.

And for what? To play games without fans, with fake crowd noise pumped into arenas to simulate "real game" conditions in crunch time? The games will be televised, possibly on tape delay because some players will be mic'd up and the league doesn't want fans at home to hear naughty language? Eavesdropping on what really is said on the court and during timeouts may be the best part of televising these games. And they're taking that away from us, too?

A big part of 2020 already is a washout. Sports, athletes and fans, should wait until it's safe to come out and play.

SportsMap Emails
Are Awesome