4th and a mile with Paul Muth

Help me sound cool: A Super Bowl guide for the casual fan

Help me sound cool: A Super Bowl guide for the casual fan
Tom Brady is looking to win his 7th Super Bowl. Photo by Chris Graythen/Getty Images.

If you've been counting down the days until February 7th, 2021, this string of text probably isn't for you.

If you're...a little less invested...you've come to the right place.

This is and has always been a primer for those that just need a little backstory before the game. I've made a career off of faking it until I make it, so I'm just here to pay it forward.

This is what you forward to your friends that heard there was going to be a party in early February, but just now realized that it was a football thing.

Let's go.

What's going on

The Super Bowl, no need to act that naive.

Who's playing?

The Kansas City Chiefs versus the Tampa Bay Buccaneers

Help me sound cool

The Kansas City Chiefs are looking for the first back to back Super Bowl Championship since 2004. Guess who won it?

The dude quarterbacking the team they're facing, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers.

Who's quarterbacking the Bucs? (yes that's how it's abbreviated)

Tom Brady. The Uggs spokesman. Gisele Bündchen's less successful spouse. Also the most successful quarterback in NFL history. Look him up.

He's a good looking dude.

FOCUS.

What about the other quarterback?

Patrick Mahomes? Well he went to Texas Tech, he's already a league MVP, Super Bowl champion, Super Bowl MVP and he's only 25. He also throws no-look passes like a robot and sounds like Kermit the Frog.

What about the rest of the Chiefs?

You'll hear the name Tyreek Hill a lot. He's the fastest man on the planet. I think. His nickname is "Cheetah," which means a lot considering that professionally fast people gave him a fast nickname.

On defense look for a guy named Tyrann Matthieu. His nickname is "The Honey Badger," which is just cool as hell. He's from LSU, and he used to play for the Texans. Since he left Houston, the Texans have finished the past two seasons with one of the worst rated pass defenses in all of football.

Seems like a guy worth keeping around, but I digress.

Sure, ok. What about the Bucs?

Watch for Mike Evans. He's a giant wide receiver who's basically a basketball player that just jumps over everyone and catches everything. He's an A&M alum, and is so unabashedly Texan that he catered Whataburger at his wedding. You can't root against that, unless you're from California or something.

On defense look for Devin White. Well, you won't have to. He'll make himself known.

Anything else?

Tampa Bay is the first team to play a Super Bowl in their home stadium. Oh, and Tom Brady is 700 years old.

So who wins?

Vegas has the Chiefs favored, and they should. But I've learned over the past 20 years to never--ever--bet against Thomas Edward Patrick Brady Jr.

Ever.

I call 31-27 Bucs, because I want to see Rob Gronkowski do Rob Gronkowski things.

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Kyle Tucker returns to Houston this weekend. Composite Getty Image.

Two first-place teams, identical records, and a weekend set with serious measuring-stick energy.

The Houston Astros and Chicago Cubs open a three-game series Friday night at Daikin Park, in what could quietly be one of the more telling matchups of the summer. Both teams enter at 48-33, each atop their respective divisions — but trending in slightly different directions.

The Astros have been red-hot, going 7-3 over their last 10 while outscoring opponents by 11 runs. They've done it behind one of the best pitching staffs in baseball, with a collective 3.41 ERA that ranks second in the American League. Houston has also been dominant at home, where they’ve compiled a 30-13 record — a stat that looms large heading into this weekend.

On the other side, the Cubs have held their ground in the NL Central but have shown some recent shakiness. They're 5-5 over their last 10 games and have given up 5.66 runs per game over that stretch. Still, the offense remains dangerous, ranking fifth in on-base percentage across the majors. Kyle Tucker leads the way with a .287 average, 16 homers, and 49 RBIs, while Michael Busch has been hot of late, collecting 12 hits in his last 37 at-bats.

Friday’s pitching matchup features Houston’s Brandon Walter (0-1, 3.80 ERA, 1.10 WHIP) and Chicago’s Cade Horton (3-1, 3.73 ERA, 1.29 WHIP), a promising young arm making one of his biggest starts of the season on the road. Horton will have his hands full with Isaac Paredes, who’s slugged 16 homers on the year, and Mauricio Dubón, who’s found a groove with four home runs over his last 10 games.

It’s the first meeting of the season between these two clubs — and if the trends continue, it may not be the last time they cross paths when it really counts.

BETMGM SPORTSBOOK LINE: Astros -112, Cubs -107; over/under is 8 1/2 runs

Here's a preview of Joe Espada's Game 1 lineup.

The first thing that stands out is rookie Cam Smith is hitting cleanup, followed by Jake Meyers. Victor Caratini is the DH and is hitting sixth. Christian Walker is all the way down at seventh, followed by Yainer Diaz, and Taylor Trammell who is playing left field.

How the mighty have fallen.

Pretty wild to see Walker and Diaz hitting this low in the lineup. However, it's justified, based on performance. Walker is hitting a pathetic .214 and Diaz is slightly better sporting a .238 batting average.

Screenshot via: MLB.com



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