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Ken Hoffman's all-day TV diet during coronavirus

Ken Hoffman's all-day TV diet during coronavirus
Will this be the last season of Curb Your Enthusiasm? Our columnist hopes so. Photo by John P. Johnson/HBO

This article originally appeared on CultureMap.

My career, this long hard climb from the bottom to the middle, has come full circle. My first job in Houston was TV-radio columnist for the now-gone Houston Post. All day long, I watched TV. All night, too. I was dedicated.

Now, with the coronavirus outbreak, I'm stuck at home and back to watching TV all day and night. I am bored.

My second day on the job as TV columnist at the Post, I made a mistake and referred to KPRC, the NBC affiliate here, as KPNX, the NBC affiliate in Phoenix, my newspaper stop before Houston. Simple mistake, but still embarrassing. One of the sports anchors at KPRC sent me an insulting welcome note, saying I'll never last in Houston making dumb mistakes like that. Just for the record, I'm still here. He's long gone.

The TV diet

For the past month, I've been hitting TV extra hard. My viewing habits have changed a lot since then, though. "Must-See Thursday" has become "I'll Watch Thursday On DVR When I Get Around To It."

I'm getting up pretty early, since the social distancing order came down. Early on, I started my day with our local stations' 4, 5, 6-hour morning newscasts. I never realized how many car crashes there are in Houston. The hosts are much happier, and less groggier, than I am. They're so wired and giddy, it might be time for them to pee in a Dixie cup.

I used to be a news junkie — CNN was my go-to channel. I can't watch the news anymore. All I hear is coronavirus bad news. All I see is my life's saving circle the drain. Even the five minutes of sports on the 10 o'clock news is awful because there's nothing to report.

They say that you can have 150 stations on your cable package, and you'll watch only five regularly. Mine used to be news-news-sports-sports-HBO. Now my fab five are Netflix-food-comedy-Amazon-HBO. And I'm getting ready to drop HBO because a certain show has said goodbye.

I watch the press conferences starring Harris County Judge Lina Hidalgo and Houston Mayor Sylvester Turner. Don't you get the feeling that they have no use for each other? I happen to think they're both doing a competent job. It's just a personality and ego clash between them.

Curb to the curb?

Most depressing of all: Curb Your Enthusiasm, my favorite show ever, aired its 10th and final episode of the season on HBO last Sunday night. From the way Larry David tied up all the loose strings, I'm scared Curb is never coming back. Modern Family, another favorite, is winding down its last season, but this has been a lame farewell season. It's gone from wild comedy to sappy comedy. Sappy isn't funny. While Curb had a huge season, Modern Family should have stopped the show two years ago.

I'm down to watching The Office reruns and old Twilight Zone episodes on Netflix and WWE wrestling on USA and Fox. I'm listening to sports talk radio because I like hearing the hosts scramble for something, anything to talk about. I'm tuning in podcasts like Jim Cornette's Drive-thru, the Jim Cornette Experience and Something About the Beatles. I like Josh Innes' podcast. I get into bed around midnight, hit Youtube and the next time I check what time it is, it's 5 am.

I'm addicted to those videos where people sucker police into confrontations, and then throw the First Amendment at the officers. They goad the officers by taking video of federal buildings and security-sensitive property from the sidewalk, where the Supreme Court says it's okay. Most of the time, the police back off, but occasionally the agitator gets cuffed, stuffed and hauled off in the back of a cop car. There are hundreds of these videos and I never get tired of them.

Sold on shopping channels
I love the home shopping channels, but only if they're demonstrating products like vacuum cleaners and blenders, or selling food like Corky's BBQ or frozen croissants from France. The guy from Corky's has an annoying habit of brushing sauce all over his hands. I can't watch if they're hawking clothes or cosmetics on home shopping. Big fan of In the Kitchen with David on QVC. When David Venable digs into a plate of macaroni and cheese, porn stars could learn from his facial expressions.

I watch old reruns of Pawn Stars. A couple of things: they need to clean their nasty fingernails, all of the guys. I've seen car mechanics with cleaner hands. And the Old Man is not crusty but lovable. He's just a mean old man. Kids, don't hit your ball into his yard — you'll never get it back. I don't have to DVR Impractical Jokers, because it's on 24-hours on TruTV and Channel 57 and Channel 2.

Continue on CultureMap for Ken's thoughts on the non-sporting life.

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Houston's starting pitching is leading the way! Composite Getty Image.

A week into the 2025 season, the Houston Astros are already giving fans plenty to talk about—and not all of it is bad. While the offense continues to sputter, particularly at the top of the order, the pitching staff is showing flashes of what could be a defining strength of the team. Let’s break down some early season observations following their latest series opening win against the Minnesota Twins.

Top of the lineup falling flat

The Astros’ biggest issue right now is at the plate. In the series opener against the Twins, the top three hitters in the lineup went a combined 0-for-12 with eight strikeouts. Jose Altuve, usually a stabilizing presence, struck out five times in that game, the first five-strikeout performance of his career. With Kyle Tucker and Alex Bregman gone, there’s even less margin for error when stars like Yordan Alvarez go cold. His early-season slump has only magnified the absence of the team’s former offensive anchors.

Chas McCormick also looks completely out of sync at the plate, continuing a troubling trend from the opening series. Meanwhile, Cam Smith is struggling to stay competitive in at-bats, often falling behind in the count after watching fastballs go by for strikes.

One bright spot: Mauricio Dubón finally picked up his first hit of the season against the Twins, showing signs of life.

Hunter Brown is a dude

On the mound, however, Hunter Brown looks every bit like the breakout arm Houston needs. Despite a couple of mistakes—most notably a hanging breaking ball that Matt Wallner turned into a triple—Brown dominated overall. His two-seam fastball produced soft contact all day, with Twins hitters averaging just 62 mph exit velocity. Broken bats and routine grounders were the theme, and Brown even flashed some defensive flair with a slick bare-handed play to first.

Still, Brown can refine his pitch sequencing. Willi Castro jumped on a first-pitch changeup for a hit—an example of how Brown might be better served by establishing his elite velocity before mixing in off-speed.

Bullpen bright spots and smarter pitching

The bullpen continues to be a strength. Bryan King once again delivered a solid inning in relief, and Bryan Abreu made an important adjustment by leaning on his fastball early in his outing, throwing seven straight to start the inning. He has the velocity to overpower hitters and should continue trusting it.

New blood

Manager Joe Espada also made a smart call by starting Brendan Rodgers in cold conditions. Rodgers, with experience playing in Colorado’s thin air and chilly Aprils, responded with a key hit—albeit a bit of a lucky one, aided by a balk that brought the infield in. Still, his presence in the lineup could bring some much-needed consistency, and he deserves regular at-bats. His power was on display when he hit a clutch double, driving in Victor Caratini and extending Houston's lead against the Twins.

Other notes and areas to improve

  • Christian Walker finally launched his first home run of the season after a rough game against the Giants. His struggles have largely come against curveballs, so it’s no surprise he found success against Joe Ryan, a pitcher who doesn’t feature one in his arsenal.
  • Base stealing continues to be a glaring weakness defensively for the Astros. Opponents are taking extra bases far too easily—a problem that could become costly in close games if not addressed.

Big picture

Yes, the offense looks rough—and yes, there are real concerns about depth and consistency. But the early returns from the pitching staff, especially from Hunter Brown and the bullpen, offer reason for optimism. If the top of the lineup finds its rhythm and the Astros start cleaning up their defensive execution, this team still has the tools to win the AL West.

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