And some thoughts on the debacle in Dallas.
The most WTF moments of the Texans offseason
Aug 28, 2019, 3:15 pm
And some thoughts on the debacle in Dallas.
It's a good thing that preseason games don't matter. Because I'm STILL shaking off Saturday's Texans - Cowboys match, not to mention the hangover it spawned.
It only took about 8:02 for me to bust out the scotch, wait, just kidding you know I'm a White Claw boi check out entirely on that Dallas disaster:
Saturday's loss was a chunk of nether-hair on top of a Texans dried out brisket-esque offseason...
"Like you know a damn thing about brisket PAWL, you carpetbagging cartoon."
...and now, the said offseason has MERCIFULLY finished (after gallons of water/alcohol). How did we get here?
-PS: Preseason game 4s can go straight to hell.
- PPS: "PAWL, technically it's not done until we know what's going on with Clowney..."
Kareem Jackson! 😤🔨💥💥 pic.twitter.com/t3SfXNaIB9
— WeAreDBnation (@WeAreDBNation1) November 5, 2018
Any time you've got a player who...
Don’t want to sound any alarms but if Cam Newton dies this fall, suspect number one is Matt Kalil (via @CarolinaHuddle) pic.twitter.com/pRuLvs13O8
— Barstool Sports (@barstoolsports) July 31, 2018
...outside of signing tackle Matt Kalil, THE 4th overall pick of the 2012 NFL Draft!
Though to be fair, they took a shot on cornerback Bradley Roby, signing the former first round pick to a one year prove it deal. He's looked good in the preseason thus far.
The Texans had A LOT of obvious needs going into free agency. The offensive line has been a major weakness with little experience FOR YEARS. The corner group features a 35 year old (Johnathan Joseph) and a former first round pick that didn't get a second contract from the team that picked him (Roby) as its two top corners. And they could have used some running back depth. You'd have thought with those holes and TONS of cap space (per Over The Cap, the second most in the league) that the Texans would have aggressively pursued experienced players.
But Bill O'Brien and company clearly don't (or didn't, more on that later) view things that way given their lack of activity in free agency. For a team that still has its quarterback on a rookie contract and two of the league's best players - DeAndre Hopkins and J.J. Watt - in their primes, it was a confusing approach.
Bill O’Brien’s entire exchange on if Matt Kalil is hurt. He is also asked if Kalil will start week one. #Texans pic.twitter.com/kinSbS2dgx
— patrick (@PatDStat) August 20, 2019
I don't want to be mean about Matt Kalil. But...
Let’s once again check in on Matt Kalil pic.twitter.com/PXn5wckARB
— Josh Norris (@JoshNorris) August 18, 2018
...Like...
Checking in on Matt Kalil. pic.twitter.com/qV1Za7GTuT
— Ryan Boser (@Ryan_Boser) September 24, 2017
...You'll be hard pressed to find anything that indicates he can/could protect a franchise QB. For that reason alone, I can't buy into Bill O'Brien naming him as starter last week.
On top of that, I'm STILL trying to figure out why the Texans gave Julien Davenport ANY reps with the first team unit Saturday night. Especially with how Roderick Johnson had played the week before. I know that O'Brien said he wanted to give Davenport reps with the 1s. But do you really want him protecting Deshaun Watson? Or Lamar Miller?
Other confusing things concerning the Texans O-Line this offseason:
#Texans Bill O’Brien asked numerous questions about the abrupt firing of GM Brian Gaine this was his answer everytime. @abc13houston pic.twitter.com/3No1XYYszu
— Bob Slovak (@BobSlovak13) June 11, 2019
I'm still confused as to why the Texans fired a guy after his second draft. Especially when his first draft - a draft without a 1st or 2nd rounder - featured several rookies that actually contributed:
There were some reports that Gaine and O'Brien disagreed on Clowney's future. Gaine wanted him long term, and O'Brien didn't. But our next offseason check point is probably why the Texans are now a "flat organization," whatever that means...
Bill O’Brien on if the #Texans had any contact with Patriots Nick Caserio before the dismissal of Brian Gaine. pic.twitter.com/kYIBEc22lf
— patrick (@PatDStat) June 12, 2019
The Texans likely got rid of Gaine because they thought they'd be able to hire Patriots Director of Player Personnel Nick Caserio, who has worked for the Patriots since 2001. The timeline adds up. Texans Executive Vice President of Team Development Jack Easterby (the former Patriots team development director / character coach who joined the Texans in April) attended the Patriots Super Bowl ring ceremony in June (along with Caserio). The Texans fired Brian Gaine the next day. Of COURSE they wanted the guy. And seeing as he's been with the organization for all 6 Super Bowl victories and 9 appearances this century, why shouldn't they pursue him?
Unfortunately, they didn't do their homework. Caserio allegedly has a clause in his contract that prevents him from leaving the Patriots. And because of that, the Patriots filed anti-tampering charges. The Texans backed off, announced that Easterby, Matt Bazirgan, James Liipfert, and Chris Olsen would divvy up the GM role, and started using the phrase "flat organization" to describe themselves.
This G.M. Democracy might be able to hold it together for the next season. And the Texans might be able to bring Caserio in house for 2020. But the process to get there has been a Walk of Shame.
Lombardi shares his expert knowledge on the building trade rumors involving Jadeveon Clowney.
— VSiN (@VSiNLive) August 24, 2019
Only on the #LombardiLine with @mlombardiNFL & @TheWrapRadio Sunday-Saturday 6A-9A PT/9A-12P ET / @SIRIUSXM / @NESN / https://t.co/omBpOjPlh5 pic.twitter.com/chgzynD90G
Let's just list them:
It's been tiring. But there has always been something to the rumors. Those original quotes from King sound all too familiar some of the things that I've talked about with my own ravens.
If the Texans trade Clowney...
Here’s the play that caused Lamar Miller to leave the field on a cart. #Texans pic.twitter.com/qV4MQt9ONb
— Aaron Reiss (@aaronjreiss) August 24, 2019
Say what you want about Lamar Miller's tenure in Houston:
I see all this offseason drama, and can only come to one conclusion. Though they have a loaded passing offense, the Texans will be hard pressed to scrap out a 6-10 season this year. They play too many good quarterbacks and have too many holes to overcome all these WTF moments above.
Paul Gallant hosts the "Gallant Says" podcast (Tuesdays & Fridays), "Just Sayin'", Friday nights at 10:30 on Kube 57, and contributes to SB Nation Radio. Have any questions? Get after him on Twitter, Instagram, or Facebook.
As the Houston Astros continue to navigate a season riddled with injuries and inconsistencies, the question looms larger than ever: can they keep their heads above water? With a barrage of pitching injuries threatening to derail their season, the Astros are finding themselves in a position where every decision matters more than ever.
The recent setbacks to the pitching staff (Hayden Wesnieski, Ronel Blanco) have placed even more pressure on the club. Lance McCullers, whose performances have been inconsistent, is now squarely in the spotlight. The Astros will need him to step up and shoulder a larger portion of the load. At the same time, the bullpen, which has been a bright spot so far, must continue its elite play to keep the team afloat. In particular, Houston can't afford to make mistakes in its decision-making, whether in the lineup or on the field.
Take, for example, the decision to give Chas McCormick a second start after his costly mistakes in Game 1 against the Rays. McCormick’s two pick-offs in that game showed he's lacking focus, yet he was given another chance to start Game 2. Houston needs to be making the right calls on the field, and this was a moment where the manager’s trust in McCormick might have been better placed elsewhere, considering his lack of success in the series.
On the offensive side, the Astros’ struggles have been just as apparent. Jose Altuve, a cornerstone of the franchise, has been attempting to bunt while hitting in the 3-hole. It’s a strategy that just doesn’t make sense. With the Astros needing to produce runs, Altuve's role is to drive them in, not waste strikes with ill-timed bunt attempts.
Is Houston's roster poorly constructed or just unlucky?
Given the pitching woes and offensive troubles, some are beginning to question whether the Astros’ roster is poorly constructed, or if it’s simply been an unfortunate series of events. The bad luck with pitching injuries is undeniable, but the offense tells a different story—particularly when it comes to the lineup’s balance.
One glaring issue is the team’s heavy reliance on right-handed hitters. With players like Christian Walker struggling at the plate, it’s hard to overlook the potential misstep in roster construction. Walker’s performance this season has been abysmal, and it’s fair to wonder if the Astros would have been better off investing in a more flexible first-base platoon. Players like Jon Singleton, Victor Caratini, Zach Dezenzo, Yainer Diaz, and even Mauricio Dubon could have filled in at first base, providing much-needed depth at a fraction of the cost. At this point, they couldn’t have done worse than Walker, who has posted a paltry .199 batting average, .270 OBP, and .607 OPS on the season.
In comparison, Walker’s numbers this season are worse than Jose Abreu’s 2023 campaign with Houston (.237 batting avg, .296 OBP, .680 OPS). Walker is a player known for slow starts, but nothing quite as severe as what we’ve seen in 2025. His struggles are reminiscent of a disastrous start to the 2022 season that saw him fail to find his rhythm until much later in the year, but even then, his slugging percentage was significantly better than what we’re seeing now.
Would a return of “career Yordan Alvarez” fix Houston’s offensive woes?
Amid the offensive malaise, the return of a fully healthy Yordan Alvarez could certainly provide a much-needed spark. If Alvarez were to return to his “career” form, with a healthy pitching staff, an intact bullpen, and a potential resurgence from key hitters, the Astros could see a drastic improvement in their fortunes. However, this is all contingent on a lot of “ifs,” and there’s no guarantee that a turnaround is on the horizon.
Observations and further concerns
As if the struggles on offense and pitching weren’t enough, the Astros’ defense has also been plagued by lapses in fundamentals. One of the more puzzling trends this season has been the number of stolen bases allowed, especially at third base. If the Astros continue to give up steals at this rate, it will be difficult for the pitchers to recover, especially if they are walking batters and putting runners in scoring position with alarming frequency.
We have so much more to get to. Don't miss the video below as we examine the topics above and much, much more!
The MLB season is finally upon us! Join Brandon Strange, Josh Jordan, and Charlie Pallilo for the Stone Cold ‘Stros podcast which drops each Monday afternoon, with an additional episode now on Thursday! Note: because of the holiday weekend, our next episode will be after Memorial Day on Tuesday.
*ChatGPT assisted.
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