4th and a mile with Paul Muth

Houston's sideline untouchables

Mattress Mack
Photo courtesy of Gallery Furniture

Nothing makes sense anymore.

This is already an insane start for a year by any measure. Well it seems Chaos heard our cries of bewilderment and had a "hold my beer" moment in the sports world on Monday night.

In a shocking move, famed director (and likely final Knicks fan) Spike Lee announced he would no longer be returning to Madison Square Garden for the remainder of the regular season to watch the Knicks after a run in with employees and security.

There are conflicting stories, but sometimes in life, even if you're right...you're not right.

Short of an actual crime, there is little that Lee shouldn't be able to get away with in that building. He's cemented him self as someone as analogous to the Knicks as he is to the film industry. And when you spend close to $10 million to watch a team as Lee claims he has over the years, then yeah, special treatment is probably expected.

The whole debacle got me wondering though. If a similar situation occurred, are there certain Houston A-listers (that never played) that deserve the same benefit of the doubt? Who out there would fans storm the battlefields of Twitter to defend if they were ever treated improperly inside the confines of Houston's hallowed(ish) sports venues? Here are my candidates.

Minute Maid Park: Jim "Mattress Mack" McIngvale

In 2017 Mattress Mack rolled out his "Win it all, Get it all" promotion where anyone who bought a mattress during the Astros season would have their bed fully compensated if the Astros won the Won the World Series. After the devastation wreaked by Hurricane Harvey, Mack opened the doors of his massive showroom to displaced refugees, and continued paying his employees while they served instead in a volunteer capacity. When the Astros won the World Series that year, not only did Mack throw out the first pitch to game three, but he also kept his word to everyone that bought into the promotion back in the beginning of the season. The bet set him back roughly $12 million, but that's a drop in the bucket for a guy who simultaneously cemented his legacy in Houston lore. Also, I'm fairly certain I haven't seen Mattress Mack without an oversized Astros jersey on in two and a half years.

If you need an idea of how big of a deal he is, I watched grown adults peel away from our playoff game group this past season to take pictures with a man who sells couches. When I got to my seats and people asked where the lost party was, I explained that they were trying to get a picture with Mattress Mack and everyone accepted that as a viable excuse for missing first pitch.

Runner up: George and Barbara Bush.

Toyota Center: Travis Scott

Locally sourced, and global hip-hop phenom Travis Scott owns Toyota Center. On game nights, he's the closest thing the Rockets have to a Lakers Jack Nicholson or Knicks Spike Lee. He's done promos for the team, he's collaborated on custom jerseys, he name drops them in his albums. Scott is all in on the Rockets (and Houston in general), and it's apparent enough that the Rockets reciprocated the appreciation just this past month:




Fans arrived seven hours before tip-off to get in line, and the bobble head is currently running $150-$200 on the resale market.

Runner up: Beyonce, she just doesn't come to enough games.


NRG Stadium: Simone Biles

Look, there just aren't a ton of over the top, ride or die celebrity Texans fans to be completely honest. You've got big names like Dennis Quaid, Jim Parsons, and Rico Rodriguez ("Manny" from "Modern Family"), sure. I don't think anyone would boycott a game over them though. Then there's Joel Osteen, but I think there's a decent crowd that might pay extra to watch him get tossed. Nope, it has to be Houston's adopted daughter, world's greatest gymnast, and honorary Houston Texans cheerleader for a day, Simone Biles. She exudes charm just as effortlessly as she dominates her entire sport, and if anyone did anything to her I would personally expense the torches and pitchforks for everyone that accepts the mob group invite I would inevitably be sending on Facebook.

Runner up: Every local Houston Rapper

4 Downs of the Week

1st Down - Super Tuesday.

Look, I don't exactly care what your political leanings are on a sports website, but I think we can all agree that the fact that we got through Super Tuesday and don't have to deal with anymore political ads and unsolicited texts is something to be pumped about.

2nd Down - 21 days: amount of time left until the start of the Astros' baseball season. In this house there are two seasons: baseball season, and baseball offseason.

3rd Down - Let's talk dedication. And lack of awareness:


Her rubber duck is probably alive and well also.

4th Down - This week's edition of Minor League Baseball Marketing Genius goes out to the Jacksonville Jumbo Shrimp, specfically their chiropractor themed night, "Say Yes to Crack."

Fly high, marketing eagles. Fly high.

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Christian Walker got on base twice in the opener. Composite Getty Image.

The Houston Astros return to action Wednesday night with a chance to get back on track and even their three-game set against the visiting Chicago White Sox.

White Sox continue to have Houston's number

After falling 4–2 in Tuesday’s opener, the Astros now trail the season series 3–1 and will turn to Ryan Gusto (3-3, 4.78 ERA) in hopes of steadying the ship and reinforcing their grip on first place in the AL West.

Houston enters the matchup at 36–30 overall and 22–13 at home, a mark that reflects just how comfortable they've been playing in front of their fans. Though the offense has been inconsistent at times, the Astros are an impressive 19–4 when they manage to keep the ball in the yard — a stat that will be key with Gusto on the mound. The young right-hander has had an up-and-down season, but he'll be tasked with limiting a White Sox offense that did just enough to sneak away with a win in the opener.

Chicago, meanwhile, continues to play with a bit of unexpected edge despite sitting in last place in the AL Central. At 23–44, the White Sox have struggled most of the season — particularly on the road, where they’re just 7–26. Still, they've now won four of their last five games and will hand the ball to Sean Burke (3-6, 4.03 ERA), a righty who’s shown flashes of command and competitiveness in his rookie campaign.

The Astros will once again lean on their veterans to lead the way at the plate. Jose Altuve continues to be a consistent presence at the top of the lineup with nine home runs and 24 RBIs on the year. Yainer Diaz, who’s 10-for-39 with three home runs over his last 10 games, has started to find his swing again and could be a factor in the middle of the order. Houston will need more of that timely hitting if they want to avoid dropping their second straight at home — something that hasn’t happened often this year.

On the other side, Chase Meidroth has quietly become one of Chicago’s more reliable bats. Hitting .293 with five doubles and a pair of homers, Meidroth’s emergence adds some much-needed spark to a lineup that’s lacked consistency. Andrew Benintendi, hitting .257 over his last 10 games with four doubles, has also begun to warm up at the plate.

Both teams come in with nearly identical offensive production over their last 10 games — the Astros hitting .227 to the White Sox’s .226 — but Houston holds the edge in ERA at 3.44 compared to Chicago’s 4.04. That said, the Astros have been outscored by five runs over that stretch, and will need to clean up a few things on both sides of the ball to avoid falling into a mini-slide during this six-game homestand.

First pitch is set for 8:10 p.m. ET from Daikin Park, with Houston looking to reassert itself against a team it hasn’t solved yet this season. A win would not only even the series — it would also be a reminder that the Astros remain very much in control of their own narrative heading into the summer grind.

BETMGM SPORTSBOOK LINE: Astros -181, White Sox +150; over/under is 8 1/2 runs.

Here's an early look at Houston's lineup for Game 2

Jacob Melton is hitting last and remains the left fielder with Altuve back at second base. Diaz is once again in the cleanup spot as Walker is hitting fifth. Victor Caratini will hit behind Walker and serve as the DH. Otherwise, a pretty typical lineup for Joe Espada's club.


*ChatGPT assisted.

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